Hello?
Let’s read together in 1 Timothy 3. This is in verses 14 and 15—1 Timothy 3:14-15.
We’ve been talking about generations the last couple of times when I’ve been sharing. One time we looked at the family of God and used this verse, kind of applying it to one specific area: the relationship between different ages in the church. We looked at relating to older brothers and older sisters, and to those younger than you, especially with this thought: How do we conduct ourselves in the house of God?
This time, we’d again like to look at conduct in the house of God, with the generational concept in mind, and with some more specifics.
These things I write to you, hoping to come to you more quickly.
But if I delay, in order that you may know how one ought to conduct oneself in God’s house, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and base of the truth.
Let’s pray together.
Lord, we entrust this time into Your hands, and we pray, as we’re in Your Word and fellowshipping together, that Your light—the very light of the Word—would enlighten our hearts, light up the room, and reveal Christ to us.
Lord, shine Your light. If there are dark areas in our minds, we pray that You would break through. Lord, we pray that You would speak and say, “Let there be light.” Really reveal Christ to us in this time. In Jesus’ name, amen.
This passage comes right after a lot of details concerning the church and God’s house—details that would not normally, perhaps, be in a letter to Timothy or in a letter to the church. But it was time for extra details with Timothy and with the church in Ephesus.
Timothy had been left in Ephesus while Paul moved on to Macedonia. But a major problem had occurred in Ephesus: people were teaching wrong teachings. Timothy’s gift in teaching could now be especially exercised, and much of 1 Timothy includes exhortations for him to strongly exercise that gift and to use his ability in the Word of God to stop the wrong teaching.
Something had happened in the church in Ephesus, which was a very mature church group. Paul and Timothy had been there together for years. It was almost like a work center beyond a normal church; it helped other churches.
There had been a strong core group of elders and church leaders. If you remember Acts 20, they met with Paul, they wept with him, and he knew in his heart that he would never see them again. He warned them that some from among them would become like wolves, hurting the saints and doing something wrong.
Paul had shared everything with them, publicly and from house to house. He had not held back any of the Word of God. So here was a church group that had received much, and leaders who had received much. Yet afterward, something terribly wrong happened. The assembly was missing elders.
Perhaps some had passed away, perhaps some had moved away—something had happened. They were in need of help in establishing elders in the church. Timothy was left behind not merely for that purpose, but to deal with the teachings that had broken up and hurt the church. He was a solid person, able to combat false doctrine.
But Paul planned to return to help establish the elders. As the older brother and lead in the team, Paul would normally be the one to help establish elders in this case. Yet he says, “In case I delay,” so that Timothy would know how to conduct himself in the house of God.
Basically, in case Paul did not make it back in time, Timothy needed to remember the details: how the elderhood worked, how deacons and deaconesses functioned, and even details concerning a widow’s list. These were details of conduct in the house of God.
This letter was written to Timothy, but it was not really just for Timothy. Obviously, it is in the Bible for all God’s people. Yet, at that time, Paul and Timothy both knew that the letter would be read by the assembly as well.
Some things in the letter were for Timothy’s encouragement, but they were also for the others around him to see. Think of David and Solomon. David gave Solomon many details as he prepared him to become king, but he also presented those details to the people around Solomon, including those older than Solomon, so they could help him be the king he ought to be.
In a similar sense, these details helped the believers understand what should happen. They helped those being raised up as elders and deacons know how things should work. And there was confirmation that these instructions came from the apostle Paul.
In 1 Timothy 4:12, Paul says, “Let no one despise your youth.” Timothy could deal with false teaching from the Word of God, but when it came to details requiring wisdom and experience, some might wonder, “Is Timothy used to doing this? Does Timothy know what he is talking about?”
Timothy probably did know what he was doing. He had traveled with Paul for years. He had been with Paul in private prayer, caring for the assemblies. Paul said in Philippians that he had no one like Timothy, who cared with a genuine heart for how the believers in Philippi were doing.
Timothy had learned the heart behind the scenes. When Paul and Timothy traveled through and a new church group was raised up, then traveled back through and appointed elders, Timothy would have been involved in the prayer, discernment, and fellowship. He would have learned to recognize whom the Lord was raising up to bear leadership responsibility.
Consider Jesus when He appointed the twelve apostles. He spent the night in prayer and fasting. He travailed before the Father. In a similar way, when Paul and Timothy prayed concerning the appointment and establishment of elders, that kind of shared burden would have connected Timothy with Paul.
This is a good example of two generations working together in a work of God. One generation pioneers, leads the way, discovers, and sometimes fumbles around. The other comes alongside, supports, helps, and learns directly. They can learn faster because someone explains and leads the way.
The benefit of that next generation is that they intuitively catch things. They know what is right and wrong. They can sense light or darkness, life or death. But sometimes the spelled-out details can be missed.
For example, if you grow up in an assembly where you break bread together in an open breaking-bread time, like we had this morning, you learn to let Christ be Head over the gathering. The details of the gathering are put in order by the leading of the Holy Spirit.
We do not know who will pray next or what song will be sung next. We do this on purpose because Christ is Head over the Body. He can lead His Body to His table and bring us all to remember Him.
If I grew up in that setting, I may simply know that it feels right. If I encounter a more man-made structure, with less room for the Holy Spirit to lead, I may sense that something is not right. But if someone asks why, I may not be able to explain it.
The reason is that I may never have had to fight for it. I never had to read the huge book, find the verses, memorize them, and argue with someone about them. I just grew up in the shadow of it, in the good of it. I can say, “I don’t know why, but I feel like this way is right.”
Because of that, detail after detail needs to be spelled out, sometimes in the very moment when we are actually doing it. Timothy had experience in helping establish elders, helping in the prayer life, and praying for leadership in an assembly. But now the details were being put on paper for him.
When you have worked with somebody over and over again, you catch a lot. You catch the flow of what they are doing, the heart of what they are doing, and the sensing of it. But when you switch places and have to take the initiative or the lead, suddenly you can feel as though you forgot everything.
I do not know how many times I have trained somebody in software, an office procedure, or some other task. When I show them, they get it. When I explain it, or even show them a tutorial video, they feel like they have got it. Then they grab the mouse, sit at the computer, and ask, “Where do I go?” Suddenly they are lost.
We all know that experience. You can watch a video of someone repairing a house and feel like you know how to build a house. Then you grab the hammer and do not know where to start.
But if you have been with somebody, carrying the board for them and helping them, then eventually it becomes your turn to put the board up first. The other person is still beside you, giving details: “Remember, like we have done a hundred times while you held the board for me? Now I am holding the board for you. Just hit the nail right there.”
As you do it, it all comes back to you. All those details you really knew become your own. This is something of the transition from generation to generation as we work together in the church, conducting ourselves in the household of God.
There has to be a time when details are spelled out, and there has to be a time when the experience becomes, in a sense, Timothy by himself without Paul. Timothy had the letter, but he was at the forefront of doing what he had learned.
David also gave Solomon many details about the temple Solomon would build. In Chronicles, David prepared materials, spoke with Solomon, and showed him much of what he would walk in.
I think one thing I said before may have been confusing. Someone asked me about it. I said that Solomon seemed to miss it, but it was not that Solomon missed it. Solomon did well in building the temple.
After David passed away, Solomon went to the tabernacle that Moses had built. David’s worship, however, had been at David’s tent, where the ark and presence of God were. When David spoke of dwelling in the house of God, he was speaking of the place where the presence of God was.
David had fought for, gained, and earned something as a pioneer. He passed that sense on to Solomon. Solomon knew it, but when you are without David, you can become confused. Solomon knew the rules and knew where sacrifices were offered, so he went to the tabernacle of Moses.
But the next most essential thing, besides help from the pioneer generation, is direct connection with the living God. This is the other part of the recipe.
Solomon had his own experience of speaking with God. David had already called Solomon wise, but Solomon went to God and asked for wisdom. God met with him. After that, what he had learned from David came back to him. In the story, he then went directly to David’s tent and did not return to the tabernacle of Moses.
The details became solid once Solomon connected directly with the living God. It is the same with us. Part of it is helping and showing. Those in the shadow generation catch the sense of it from the pioneer generation. But the other part is direct connection with the living God.
In Paul’s letter to Timothy, much of the encouragement concerns Timothy’s own walk with the Lord and the need for that walk to increase. Paul was not there, but what would carry Timothy through and keep him on the path was his continuing relationship with the Lord.
Timothy had received a full outline of sound doctrine. Paul had helped him thoroughly. Yet Timothy had to continue, letting his progress in the Word of God be manifested before everyone. As he continued in direct relationship with the Lord, what he had learned from Paul would come back to him and become more solid than ever.
When you are in the shadow of someone pioneering the way, you are connected to the Lord, but you are also connected with another person. When you find yourself by yourself and everything is confusing—“Where do I start? What do I do?”—that relationship with the Lord is the anchor point.
It is all embedded in the Lord Jesus. All of our Holy Spirit memory, all that the Lord has trained us with, is there. The Holy Spirit has not forgotten anything. In our relationship with the Lord, we have our best training.
Those helping us in the right way often ask, “How did you seek the Lord about this? What have you found so far?” They are trying to make sure our connection with the Lord is strong, that we are going to Him first. Then, when we are stuck, thank the Lord, we have somebody we can talk to.
I wanted to read some passages leading up to the statement that Timothy should know how to conduct himself in the house of God. Leading up to that statement are details concerning elders and deacons. Let’s read 1 Timothy 3:1.
Faithful is the word: If anyone aspires to exercise oversight, he desires a good work.
The overseer then must be irreproachable, husband of one wife, sober, discreet, decorous, hospitable, apt to teach;
Not given to excesses from wine, not a striker, but mild; not addicted to contention, not fond of money;
Conducting his own house well, having his children in subjection with all gravity.
But if anyone does not know how to conduct his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?
Not a novice, that he may not, being inflated, fall into the fault of the devil.
But it is necessary that he have also a good testimony from those without, that he may fall not into reproach and the snare of the devil.
Deacons, in like manner, should be grave, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not seeking gain by base means;
Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.
And let these also first be proved; then let them minister, being without charge against them.
The women, in like manner, grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
Let the deacons be husbands of one wife, conducting their children and their own houses well.
For those who have ministered well obtain for themselves a good degree, and much boldness in faith which is in Christ Jesus.
Then Paul says, “These things I write to you,” so that you may know how to conduct yourselves in the house of God.
Those are many details. In David’s time, he spelled out measurements for storage rooms. We might think, “I do not know how this is edifying to me.” But the house of God—the spiritual house of God, the pillar and base of truth—is built in this way.
Notice that nearly all these qualifications for overseers and deacons concern character, and barely anything concerns gifting. Overseer is another word for elder, emphasizing the responsibility of oversight. Yet whether we speak of overseers or deacons, the qualifications concern personal testimony, relationship with the Lord, and the respect earned by character.
Timothy may have intuitively known who seemed like an overseer and who did not. But without Paul around, he may not have remembered all the details. Someone could ask, “Why not? Why cannot we do it this way?” The details are spelled out because the testimony and expression of Christ in the church matter.
Why not have a man with three wives? It is plainly stated: he must be the husband of one wife. Why? Because of testimony, because of the expression of Christ in the church, and because believers are looking to someone in leadership as an example.
Why would a man with unruly children be disqualified if he is a good man and a good teacher? It is because of the example he sets. He must be able to conduct his own house well.
Now, we all have rowdy kids. I think some parents are laughing. There is a rowdiness of joy that we all appreciate, and then there is rebellion that never gets disciplined. I think that is what this is talking about.
I do not think it means that if you ever see problems with a child, the parent is disqualified. Problems are in the church. The question is: How does someone handle the problems? If you see a dad beating the kids, he should not handle anything in the church. If you see a dad neglecting the kids, he should not handle anything in the church, at least not in this leadership role. He should be helped in the area of his family.
There is one more detail I want to bring up. In 1 Timothy 5, Paul discusses relating to older brothers and older sisters. In 1 Timothy 5:1, where he says, “Rebuke not an elder sharply, but exhort him as a father,” the word elder refers to an older believer, not an official elder in a leadership position.
You know that because he also mentions older women. He is speaking about the age relationship. Later in the chapter, when he says not to receive an accusation against an elder without witnesses, he is speaking of an elder in the sense of overseer.
Honor widows who are widows indeed.
The passage goes on to say that if widows have children, their children should provide for them financially. Then Paul speaks about younger widows.
But younger widows decline; for when they grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry,
Being guilty because they have cast off their first faith.
And at the same time they learn to be idle, going about to people’s houses; and not only idle, but also gossipers and meddlers, speaking things not becoming.
I will therefore that the younger marry, bear children, rule the house, and give no occasion to the adversary.
Let a widow be put on the list, being not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one man,
Well reported of in good works.
I do not want merely to stand here and bring up awkward details—things we never think about or talk about. But the details and measurements in the house of God matter greatly.
Timothy had been in Ephesus, and in that large assembly there would have been poor ones and widows needing financial provision. This had become organized. Timothy would have seen the widow’s list, but now he needed to know how it worked and who belonged on it.
He may have intuitively known the kind of widow who would normally be on the list, and the kind who would not, but he might not have been able to explain why. Here Paul gives the details, including that if family members can provide, that is best—especially if the children are believers and can care for their mother. This is God’s design.
Let’s use these three things—the elders, the deacons, and the widow’s list—and travel back to the beginning of the church. A pioneer generation had to discover these things. Believers had to pay the price for these details.
At the founding of the church, the twelve disciples had been with the Lord Jesus for years. The same character qualities later described for elders had been worked into them. Then, at Pentecost, the church was born.
Though they were called apostles, their experience in the church in Jerusalem was one of oversight. They were elder brothers, bearing responsibility. Thousands were saved, and they had been trained by the Lord Jesus in how to handle things, even how to care for multitudes.
When Jesus fed thousands, He taught the disciples to seat people in groups of fifties and hundreds. He taught them how to work with a multitude. In Jerusalem, they put into practice what they had learned from the Lord Jesus in another setting.
They preached and ministered the Word in Solomon’s porch, but the saints gathered in homes to break bread and fellowship. When Peter came out of prison, he knew which home to go to because believers were gathered there in prayer.
In these smaller settings, in these groups of fifties and hundreds, they learned how to conduct themselves in the house of God. It is similar to Moses receiving wisdom from Jethro: appoint other leaders and divide the people into smaller groups.
They served their hearts out, but there were many from out of town who needed provision. There were poor ones, widows, and perhaps people who had lost family support because they had become believers.
Eventually, the work of distributing food and waiting on tables became beyond the apostles’ ability. In Acts 6, murmurings arose because Greek-speaking widows were being neglected. The twelve apostles were Hebrew-speaking, and if we simply care for those to whom we are naturally connected, we may miss people.
The apostles said to choose seven men. What is wonderful is that the believers chose seven, probably Greek-speaking, to do this kind of deacon work. The passage does not use the word deacon, but this was a Levitical, physical service in the house of God.
The qualifications were not that they be skilled negotiators or successful managers. The qualification was that they be full of the Holy Spirit, have a good reputation, and possess character. It had to be spiritual service in the house of God.
Those seven may well have been among the brothers who first brought the problem forward. They did not simply complain, stir up Greek-speaking believers, form their own group, and rebel against the twelve. Instead, they may have said, “We are missing something. There are murmurings. There is a problem here. I know it is accidental, but what are we going to do?”
Thank the Lord, the issue was received and brought before the whole church. The apostles found the mind of the Lord. Through the complaints being brought to the Lord, they discovered the concept of deacons.
They also discovered the distinction of spiritual oversight. They said:
We will give ourselves to prayer and the ministry of the Word.
They gave themselves to prayer, the ministry of the Word, and oversight of spiritual matters. The seven gave themselves to carrying out physical responsibilities in the church’s life.
That did not mean the seven had no gifting. We know Philip was an evangelist, and Stephen was clearly a teacher. In Acts 7, Stephen goes through Israel’s history and reveals things many had not understood. These were gifted ones, but they faithfully carried out this deacon-type service.
Through their faithfulness, details such as a widow’s list could be established. Organization was beneficial. It was a spiritual matter of conduct in the house of God.
A list can be a spiritual help. Many of us have a prayer list in our hearts, but it is helpful to have a physical prayer list as well. You may pray for the youth you spend time with every day, then look at your list a month later and realize you have totally forgotten somebody.
A list helps prevent the neglect of the Greek-speaking widows. If you have the full list, you know who belongs to your group. If you only pray for those you naturally remember, you may forget people.
In the church, in the house of God, in our conduct, we can accidentally neglect one another. Some are not always noticed. Some do not show up to every gathering, and we might not even notice that they are absent.
Some people are noticed if they are absent, and they receive phone calls and messages asking, “What happened to you?” I think that is really good. But sometimes someone does not show up, feels hurt because nobody noticed, and nobody contacted them.
There is also the other side: we can be afraid to contact people because we are afraid they will feel harassed or upset that we noticed they were gone. I think we both have to overcome this. If it is out of love, we should receive it gladly: “I am so glad somebody noticed.”
These matters were hard-earned and hard-fought-for. They are part of conduct in the house of God.
This was not gained only by the seven and the twelve. It was gained by the whole church. The whole church was blessed, and the whole church understood something of it.
Later, by Acts 15, the church in Jerusalem had raised up an elderhood. There was a group called elders. Peter and John may have been among the elders as well as apostles, but the apostles and elders were not all the same thing. The spiritual reality had been established from the beginning.
Then persecution came, and believers were scattered. In Antioch, believers who had been scattered were not among the seven or the twelve, yet they knew how to conduct themselves in the house of God. They knew these principles.
In Jerusalem, probably through smaller home gatherings, believers had received some experience of responsibility, shepherding, and care in the house of God. Without titles, they had experienced it. Therefore, in a place like Antioch, some naturally knew how to gather, how to recognize elders and overseers, and how to function together.
The twelve, or perhaps the hundred and twenty in the upper room, were a pioneer generation. The thousands saved at Pentecost were a shadow generation, learning the ways of Christ from those who had spent years with Christ.
When persecution scattered the Greek-speaking Jews into other lands, they carried with them what they had learned from the Hebrew-speaking believers in Jerusalem. They had learned the practice and conduct of the house of God.
There were also brothers who could have been among the seven but were not selected. There were those who could bear responsibility without being technically in that position. This is the Lord’s way. There is much to do in the house of God.
The character should be there. The heart should be there. Whether you are named among the seven is not the most important thing. Are you like the seven?
Think of Barnabas. He was Greek-speaking and full of the Holy Spirit. He was faithful in responsibility. He sold his property and gave it to the Lord’s work. He was not one of the seven, but he was free to be sent to Antioch to encourage the saints there.
The Lord has those in visible example positions, but He also has those with the same character, heart, and knowledge of how to conduct themselves in the house of God. They faithfully serve in prayer, ministry of the Word, shepherding, and spiritually handled practical service.
Paul and Barnabas, when they were sent out, knew what had been earned in the generations before them. When they established church groups, they returned and established elders. They knew this practice because it had been hard-earned before them.
In every local church setting, there are many details like a widow’s list that need to be passed on. Things may seem insignificant, but there are reasons behind them. These matters need to be spelled out, and people need to be brought into the experience of them.
Paul says that if anyone desires to exercise oversight, he desires a noble work. When I first read that, I thought, “That cannot be right.” If someone desires to be an elder, it can sound as though they are proud, wanting to be first and prominent.
But the Word of God is true, and I must be wrong. The desire is not a desire to be king or to have a badge. It is the desire to exercise oversight. Do you want to be responsible for the church?
Do you care how things go when we break bread together? Do you pray in your own time for the Wednesday prayer meeting? Do you pray for the saints by name? Do you have a place in your heart for everything connected with the church where you are, even if you have no title and are not in charge?
I would say that deep down, every born-again believer wants this responsibility, because the Holy Spirit within us has this sense. We touch it when we begin to pray for something and realize, “I really do care about how that goes.”
I used to think I would never care about how the sisters’ meeting went, because I would never be there by nature. But I prayed every morning with Brother Kong, and every Tuesday he prayed for the sisters’ meeting.
I was not really forced to pray—I delight to pray in the morning—but I caught something. He was not going to the sisters’ meeting, but he cared how it went. He cared that it would be blessed and edifying. So I started praying for the sisters’ meeting.
The secret is out: I pray for this meeting. One Thursday, I accidentally prayed for the sisters’ meeting, even though it was not happening until the next Tuesday. I found myself learning from those who had gone before me to care about things that would never naturally apply to me.
I appreciate saints who have that overarching burden of oversight for all the things of the Lord in the house of God—for the building of the church, down to the details.
That is why some arrive early to pray for the prayer meeting. Someone once asked in a brothers’ meeting, “Why in the world would we pray before we pray?” But it is caring about how the prayer time goes. It is taking a stance, praying for protection over the gathering, and praying as people come in.
Why would you give up those extra fifteen minutes and arrive early? Because if someone desires oversight, they care. Showing up early does not make you one of the seven, one of the twelve, or give you some label. But it helps you touch the heart of the Lord.
Praying on your own for the breaking of bread, praying with your husband or wife before a Friday gathering—these things make a large difference. When you arrive after praying, you are a different kind of believer.
Sometimes I show up and am simply glad others come in with lots of Christ. My feet are washed, and then I can join in. I am glad to be in the house of God. But when you practice this good work of oversight—shepherding, watchfulness, and care—you enter the gathering sharing the heart of the Lord.
You may have prayed for the Friday Bible fellowship beforehand. When something seems off, you pray quietly, “Lord, no, no, this is not what we prayed about.” You may also enter with a greater supply, having allowed the Lord to wash your feet beforehand so you can wash the feet of the saints.
If many believers gained this experience in our regular gatherings, the whole time would be blessed.
If many of us entered into this deacon-type work of waiting on tables, much practical care could be strengthened. Believers are already helping others come into what they have been doing.
It is no small thing that instruments are played on Sunday when we worship. It is amazing that musicians can change tunes, pick up a song, and follow the flow when nothing is spelled out beforehand. But a price has been paid for that labor of love.
Those who have discovered the way and served for years share the heart behind it. That is what matters. It is not merely that you can play guitar well or shift a song into a key everyone can sing.
Like the seven in Acts 6, the essential matter is that you are filled with the Holy Spirit, that you care for the saints, and that you serve with the right heart. That is what should be caught.
When you take the lead and bring somebody alongside you, share the heart behind the service. Timothy caught Paul’s heart. Paul said that Timothy genuinely cared how the saints in Philippi were doing. Timothy caught that through prayer, travail, and laboring with Paul.
Some saints visit those who are sick, in the hospital, sad, struggling, or overwhelmed with busy children. A beautiful thing is that sometimes they take another person along. It does not always mean there is a thirty-year age difference. Sometimes you are close in age, but one has pioneered the way a little and another is asking, “How can I serve in the house of God?”
If you travel together and only talk about the weather, the other person may not catch your prayerful heart. But if you pray for the person you are about to visit and share your burden for that soul, they catch it.
Then you enter together and share the joy of singing a hymn by someone’s sick bed, weeping with someone who weeps, changing diapers for a busy mother, or whatever practical service is needed. You do it together in a spiritual way.
Eventually, there comes a point, just as with Paul and Timothy, where the newer person takes more initiative and more of the lead while the older one is still there. That is the moment when more details need to be spelled out.
It is like asking, “Where do I click?” That is the moment you learn more. “All right, we are about to read the Word of God. What do we do right now?” Everyone says, “Oh, yes, we pray. We normally pray together first.” We know what to do because it has been passed on in the experience.
All of us can look around in our church experiences and see many activities, perhaps some lack of activities, much spiritual care, and sometimes a lack of spiritual care. In all these things, every one of us is in some place to step into our conduct in the house of God.
Whatever generation the Lord shows you that you are in, there will be areas where you must take initiative, even if you feel you are always in the shadow. There may be something neglected that you need to take the lead in.
The seven were in the shadow of the twelve, but they likely took the lead in discovering and establishing details for care of the widows. They were free to bear that burden because the twelve had other responsibilities to handle.
David could help Solomon, but there is not always a Solomon in the younger generation. David also had Absalom, and Solomon had Rehoboam. Solomon may have created some of the conditions that formed Rehoboam—not merely as his son, but through failure to lead the way, be an example, and spell out the details.
Rehoboam had no experience of respect for the older generation. Counsel was given to him regarding Israel, but he listened only to his own generation. He missed God’s heart from generation to generation and lost most of the kingdom.
That was a failure on Solomon’s side: perhaps a failure to be the example and to bring his son into the kingship. Solomon died, and then Rehoboam was suddenly thrust into the situation.
With David, we know that his sins had consequences in his household. Part of the problem was David’s fault; part was the children’s choices. Absalom’s rebellion involved his own choice, yet David had not made things easy because of his sin.
When we look around and say, “I do not see the other generation coming up to help. Nobody seems to care. They seem rebellious, murmuring, hiding, or doing nothing,” we need to ask the Lord to search us.
If we are faithful, if we travail, and if we seek to be people after God’s own heart, we should pray, “Search me and show me my heart. If there is wickedness in me, reveal it.” The Lord will hear our repentance and change us first.
If there is a problem with a younger generation, often half of it is our problem. For example, if someone is not coming to a prayer gathering, part of it may be their choice. They should overcome, bring Christ, be there, pray, and do the right thing. Their presence could bless the whole assembly.
But we must also ask, “When they were here, did I pray a dead prayer? Did I have a form of godliness without the reality? Have I been showing up and living halfway?” It is only as we serve God’s purpose in our generation in a full measure that another generation can catch it.
We cannot spell out the details unless people have spiritually caught the reality. If the gathering is dry and dead, the next generation may need to be jump-started and become a pioneer generation again.
If you find yourself not receiving the help you wish you had, praise the Lord—you may be blessed in God’s sovereignty. He may be arranging things so that you can discover something more. You are still learning. You are learning what not to do, how not to act, and how not to pray a dead prayer.
Show up, and do not dare pray a dead prayer. Ask the Lord to give you a burdened prayer. As you pray with burden, you may accidentally help those who ought to be helping you, and they may begin to help you.
Sometimes we wish someone would call and help us, but perhaps that person is maxed out, beaten up, worn out, or wounded by past rejection. Maybe they have called many others and been rejected. We have no idea what hurts are going on.
Trying to shepherd people can feel like working in a call center. If you have been hung up on again and again, you become broken-hearted and feel as though you can hardly do anything. But when someone calls you, suddenly you can be revived and excited to share the things of the Lord.
There are many willing to help us if we ask for help. Sometimes, as a younger generation, we have not made it easy. We have made things difficult, so we need to ask. It is not always that Paul will come and pick up Timothy. Sometimes you have to say, “Can I come with you when you visit someone in the hospital?”
I wanted to lay these details before us. We have many things to learn from each other, on one side or the other. To know how to conduct ourselves in the house of God is a discovery we make together.
The twelve learned from the seven, and the seven learned from the twelve. They helped one another in many ways. From generation to generation, as we are in the house of God together, we must help one another.
There is no reason for any of us to miss the details. Either we are asking for help, or we are seeing something in which we need to grow. There is no reason for murmurings to remain in the shadows. They should be brought into the light.
We should say, “How do we conduct ourselves in the house of God when the widows are neglected? How do we conduct ourselves when I have been missing for three months and have received no phone call?” Bring it up and say, “Help me.”
Let us faithfully seek after one another and spend time together. Let us conduct ourselves in the household of God from generation to generation, and go on together this way.
Let us not write anyone off. A younger brother once said, “I know what to do with these church gatherings: you just have to show up.” It is really true.
If you show up, simply showing up can help others walk in the right way. Sometimes I am hanging on merely by an outward form of godliness, beat up by extra labor. Sometimes I need someone to show up and ask, “Can we pray together for this? Can we do this together?”
Then I find myself in the right place—refreshed, full of life, no longer maxed out, no longer doing too much. I may have forgotten to ask somebody to come alongside, but when they ask, “Can I come along?” I am so glad.
I am so glad to be in the house, in the family of God, and so glad to be with multiple generations. The Lord has put us together. Let us conduct ourselves well in the house of God.
Let’s pray together.
Lord, we thank You for the work You have done in these brothers and sisters among us who are spiritually mature, who have spiritually labored, physically labored their hearts out, and paid many prices with time, money, tears, and sweat.
Lord, we thank You for the work You have done, for all You are doing among us even now, and for the faithfulness we see going on before us.
Lord, I thank You for generation after generation that You have raised up among us—of all ages, all types, all different discernments, and all different insights.
Lord, as we go along together in the house of the Lord, train each of us directly to learn how to handle things in the house of God and how to conduct ourselves in the house of God.
Lord, bring up the details, and we pray that all of it would be connected with You. As each of us steps into ministry, functions in a regular church gathering, and begins to pray for one another, may all of us receive this heart from You.
Give all of us Your care for the house of God. Give all of us a desire to know the details of what You are doing among us and how You are building the church.
Lord, we pray for all of us who have been struggling. Wash our feet through the Body of Christ, through one another, and through spending time together.
Even at the meal we will have today, and in the different gatherings mentioned for this week, use these times for a new discovery of how to behave in the house of God together. Really knit us together and build us together, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.