This morning, we wanted to continue fellowshipping together on the life and ministry of the Apostle John. I actually picked that hymn because, to me, this is the testimony of John’s life.
We mentioned last time that the Apostle John was raised up at the end of the first century because the church was in a weakened condition at that time. The church had had a very healthy beginning. It had a great life. The gospel was going forth throughout the world. But toward the end of the first century, we start to see some declensions, some weakness, and some errors start to creep in.
The Lord raised the Apostle John up at that point in time to recover the people of God and to bring them back. And what was He bringing them back to? What was recovered was a life with the Lord Jesus. Christ was the vehicle of recovery. Christ was the goal of recovery, and Christ was the way of recovery.
The Lord used John in a very simple way. John’s testimony was, “I am the Lord’s.” That was all he had. He said, “I am the Lord’s.” He lived the life lived for the Lord.
I appreciate that hymn because it really shows us much of the spirit within the Apostle John. John, as he said, “I am the Lord’s,” the hymn says, “Teach me all it means.” John, as we will see this morning when we look at his life a little more, was teachable. This is one of the great characteristics of those who are used by the Lord during times of recovery.
Disciples—we could make a very general categorization. Categorization—excuse my English. I’ll learn to speak it one day. But we see how disciples fall into two categories: disciples who are teachable and disciples who are not teachable. It is quite simple that way in this Christian life. Are we going to be teachable, or are we not?
Sometimes we have many wonderful experiences, and we gain a lot of great knowledge of the Lord. Then we think we have arrived, and we stop being teachable. The wonderful thing that touched me so much about the Apostle John was that, even in old age, he continued to be teachable. He saw more and more of Christ. That is the spirit the Lord wants within us in these days.
Lord, we are so thankful that we had the privilege again this morning of remembering You at the table. Lord, we are thankful that You were lifted up. We are thankful that, in a very personal way, Lord, we were drawn to You. We are thankful, Lord, that You are a living hope.
Lord, we are thankful, too, for the provision of Your Holy Spirit and Your living Word, which continue to teach us and instruct us in these days, that we could continue to be used by You in this hour. We recognize the days that we are in, Lord. We know that these last days are perilous days, and we know that the only way through is in You, Lord.
So we want to be those who are drawn closer to You, allowing You to have a greater display and a greater fullness of Your life in each one of us, Lord. As John the Baptist said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” In Thy name we pray. Amen.
As we said, John’s burden was really to bring people back to the Lord. If you look at John’s Gospel, John 1, much of his burden is summarized in the first few verses.
In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
The same was in the beginning with God.
All things were made through Him;
and without Him was not anything made that hath been made.
In Him was life;
and the life was the light of men.
And the light shineth in the darkness;
and the darkness apprehended it not.—John 1:1-5
John’s ministry was a ministry of life. He wanted, and had this great desire, that the people of God would come back to the place of allowing the Lord Jesus to have His rightful place of life and authority within their lives, individually and together.
In times of recovery, Brother Sparks says that the Lord is jealous that Christ may have an ever-increasing fullness in the lives of His people. Sometimes, again, we can make it complicated, but I appreciate how Brother Sparks says that: Christ may have an ever-increasing fullness in the lives of His people.
His life is being recovered. This is what He is jealous for. He is jealous for us to return to that place of having that intimate, personal relationship with Him. It is not so much focused on teaching, doctrine, forms of meeting, or forms of government. All that is part of it.
When we see Him, we see the truth. When we see Him, we know the Word. When we see Him, He leads us into the way that He has for us to walk. But it is seeing Him. So we are not going to review what we shared last time; we want to continue to look at John’s life and ministry.
We were first introduced to John in the Gospel of John. Last time we looked at Mark, and that is when the Lord called John. But chronologically, before that, the first recorded encounter John had with Jesus is in John 1. Turn over to verse 35 in that chapter.
John is introduced to our Lord Jesus here in a different way than he had known Him before. At this time, John was a disciple of John the Baptist. He had probably seen Jesus before and was acquainted with Him. But at this point, John the Baptist introduced Jesus to him in a whole different way, and the Holy Spirit opened John’s eyes to see Him in a whole different way.
Again on the morrow John was standing, and two of his disciples;
and he looked upon Jesus as He walked, and saith, Behold, the Lamb of God!
And the two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus.
And Jesus turned, and beheld them following, and saith unto them, What seek ye?
And they said unto Him, Rabbi (which is to say, being interpreted, Teacher), where abidest Thou?
He saith unto them, Come, and ye shall see.
They came therefore and saw where He abode; and they abode with Him that day: it was about the tenth hour.—John 1:35-39
As we remember from last time, John’s family had a precious influence on him. His family had prepared John for the coming of the Messiah. When John the Apostle heard John the Baptist share that he was the forerunner, John went and became a disciple of John the Baptist.
As John the Baptist stood there and saw the Lord coming, he said, “Behold, the Lamb of God.” There were two disciples with him, and they immediately left John the Baptist and started following the Lord. One we know for sure was Andrew. The other is unnamed, but it is fairly unanimous that the other one was John.
These two left John the Baptist. They had been faithful to him, and John the Baptist had really helped and prepared them. But when John the Baptist pointed out, “Behold, the Lamb of God,” they both left and followed Him.
It is precious to me how John the Apostle had an ear to hear. The Baptist had been training these ones, and if we are not careful, we can read this story with familiarity and really miss the tremendous thing that occurred here. John the Apostle was a very devoted disciple of the Baptist. He had been very faithful to him and was learning from him.
But when Jesus came along, when John the Baptist said, “Behold, the Lamb of God,” John the Apostle immediately left the Baptist and followed Jesus. Not all of John the Baptist’s disciples did. Some continued to follow John the Baptist. But the precious thing about John the Apostle was that he got John the Baptist’s message.
What was John the Baptist’s message? “I am just a forerunner. I am preparing the way. There is One coming after me who is greater. I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, preparing the way.” John the Apostle got it. Some of the other disciples of John the Baptist did not get it.
At first, John the Apostle had known Jesus as a person. But when John the Baptist declared, “Behold, the Lamb of God,” by revelation John’s eyes were opened. How do any of us ever meet the Lord Jesus? It is not by the work of man; it is by the work of the Lord. Seeing the Lord comes by revelation.
The Holy Spirit opened John’s eyes, and he beheld the Lamb of God. He saw this Person, Jesus, in a totally different way than he had ever seen Him before. He saw Him as the Lamb of God. He saw Him as the Messiah. He left John the Baptist, and he started to follow the Lord.
From that point, John said, “I am the Lord’s, and I am following Him.” To me, there is a great lesson here for us. Obviously, John the Apostle was greatly indebted to John the Baptist. He had taught him much, prepared the way, and been faithful. But when it came to a choice between following a man of God and following the Lord, what did John the Apostle choose? He chose the Lord.
What a lesson that is for us. We are thankful for many men of God. John the Baptist had not done anything wrong. He was a man used by God in a great way. But there came a point in time when John the Apostle had to make a choice: “Are you going to continue to follow a man of God, or are you going to follow the Lord?”
This is so precious for us as we see the Lamb of God. It is so essential in these days, when we need a great recovery of people returning to the Lord, returning to that intimate, personal relationship with the Lord, and not following a man of God.
We are thankful that throughout the centuries, throughout church history, many have gone before us. We sit here today reaping the benefits of those whose shoulders we stand upon. They have paved a way for us. But what was their true message? Their message was to point us to Christ. It was not to point us to them.
A true servant of God points people to Christ. A true servant of God does not draw people to himself. These ones who have really served the Lord, whom we are so indebted to, want us to see that there is an unlimited Christ. There is a fullness. There are unsearchable riches. We need to press on and see Him in a fuller and greater way.
We can name men such as Watchman Nee, T. Austin-Sparks, Lance Lambert, and Stephen Kaung. We are greatly thankful for them. But are we following them, or are we following the Lord? If we really hear what they are saying, we are following the Lord. None of them would want us to be following them per se. Their desire was to lead us to Christ.
There came a point in John the Apostle’s life when he had to make a choice: “Am I going to continue to follow this one who has helped me so much, or am I going to follow the Lord?” Praise God, John the Apostle made that right choice, and he followed the Lord.
Tragically, throughout history, there have been those who continued to follow a man. You can look at church history, at certain groups and denominations, and see people following a man or following some other thing. But the Lord is calling us back to the place of gaining a fuller and greater knowing of Him.
John the Baptist testified to all of his disciples, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” John the Apostle got it. When John saw the Lamb of God, he started following that Lamb. That really characterizes the whole life of John the Apostle.
John’s life is characterized by following the Lamb. As he followed the Lamb, he gained an ever-increasing knowledge and knowing of the Lamb of God. He saw Him here as “the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sin of the world.” But how does he end up? He sees that eternal Lamb on the throne.
Through following Him, John gained a greater and greater revelation of the Person and work of our Lord Jesus Christ, that precious Lamb of God. In days when there are so many things pulling us in many different ways, we want to be those who follow the Lamb wherever He goes, learning from Him and allowing Him to teach us.
This was the secret of God’s recovery work through the Apostle John. John did not come with a new teaching or new doctrines. His writings are not doctrinally oriented or corrective in that sense. What they are doing is sharing Christ with us. They are saying, “Behold, the Lamb of God.”
As John was drawn by the Lamb, even his first question characterizes his life. In John 1:38-39, what is John’s first question to the Lord? He says, “Where art Thou abiding?” He wanted to abide with Him.
John was not asking where the Lord was abiding simply so that he would know an address. He wanted to know where the Lord was abiding so that he could be with Him. We see the word abiding throughout John’s writings more than in the writings of any other apostle.
This abiding relationship with the Lord characterized John’s life: this daily, personal knowing of Him; this daily, personal fellowship with Him. It was a fundamental desire within John’s life. We have to ask ourselves: Do we have this desire? Do we simply want to know about Him? Do we want to gain some information about Him? Or do we desire to abide in this daily, intimate, personal relationship with Him?
Sometimes we desire to know more prophecy about the end times, and that is good. Sometimes we desire to have more power, and that is good. We can have many desires concerning the Lord, and they can be good. But none of them is of any value unless we have a living relationship with the Lord.
None of our knowledge, none of our experiences, is of eternal value unless underneath it is that daily, personal abiding with Him and that living relationship with Him. We just finished a conference on being prepared, and really, what were the messages we heard? We did not get a lot of doctrinal teaching. We received very simple teaching about abiding with Him.
Being with Him, spending time with Him, being in that inner chamber with Him, in that secret place, knowing that still, small voice—that was the key. To me, that was the real message of the conference. In these last days, when we think about being prepared, it simply brings us back to this daily, personal, intimate relationship with Him, to abiding in Him and having Him as our home.
When John said, “I want to abide with You,” he had no idea in many ways what that meant. He did not know practically how that was going to work out. He did not know what was before him. But he had touched the Lamb of God, and that was where he wanted to be.
Similarly, brothers and sisters, we do not know a lot of what is before us. We know the end of the story, but practically, how we get there, we do not know a lot of that. But we know that if we have this daily relationship with Him, this life and heart relationship with Him, He will keep us through that, and we will see Him in a fuller and greater way.
Praise God, from the initial time we see John the Apostle meeting the Lord, we see the very heart and seeds within John of wanting to follow the Lord, abide with Him, know Him, and come into a greater relationship with Him. Just as John sought Him, the Lord answered his prayers, and John saw a fuller, greater, and magnificent Lord.
Chronologically, the next time we see John is where we referred to last time in Mark 1, where they were casting nets and the Lord called them to follow Him. At this time, the disciples were not with the Lord full time. They had gone fishing and were with their father, but the Lord called them, and they immediately left their nets and followed Him.
After that, the next time we see John is in Mark 3. There are many references to all the disciples in the Gospels, and there were many precious occasions when John, James, and Peter were with the Lord—the Mount of Transfiguration and Gethsemane. We are not going to focus on those. We are looking at the life of the Apostle John and how the Lord trained him to be a vessel for recovery.
In Mark 3, the Lord called all the disciples together and was getting ready to send them out. The disciples are listed there, and the Lord gave a special name to John and his brother James.
And James the son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James;
and them He surnamed Boanerges, which is, Sons of thunder.—Mark 3:17
A young person asked me one time, “Was Zebedee’s nickname Thunder?” At first, I said, “What?” They said, “Well, they are sons of Zebedee, and then they are sons of thunder. So was Zebedee Thunder?” I said, “No, no, no, you are missing the picture here.”
Thunder is describing the character and nature of John. Some people say it is negative; some say it is positive. Actually, it is neutral. It just depends on how it is used. Thunder in and of itself describes something of John’s personality that was intense, focused, absolute, and directed toward one purpose.
Whatever John was focused on, there was an absoluteness and zeal with which he pursued it. Throughout Scripture, thunder can be used positively or negatively. Sometimes thunder displays the power and authority of God. Sometimes it is used for punishment and judgment. Thunder in itself is neutral; it is how it is used in Scripture.
The Lord describes the very character and nature of John as one who was a son of thunder. This is describing his personality. It is important for us to see this because sometimes, when we think the Lord is starting to work on a person, we think He destroys their personality.
A brother said, “When God makes a servant, He does not unmake the person.” When God makes a servant, He does not unmake the person. But He takes our temperament and personality and brings them under the control of the Holy Spirit.
The temperament or personality of John, being that temperament of thunder, is really the shape of the soul. It expresses who you are—the mind, will, and emotion together. It comes out very differently in each of us. But before we know the Lord, and even when we first get saved, that soul is under the control of the self-life, our flesh.
As the Lord works within us, and as we yield to Him, God’s great transforming work brings that soul under the control of the Holy Spirit. That is what He is trying to do, and that is what He does. We see it in John. His intense, focused, zealous personality, which once came forth in natural zeal, is transformed and brought under the control of the Holy Spirit.
Praise God, each one of us is uniquely and wonderfully made. We are each fearfully and wonderfully made. He wants to take the way He has made us and bring us into conformity to the image of His Son. He wants to take our soul and bring it under the dominion of the Spirit.
We have heard so much about the soul coming under the dominion of the Spirit that, when someone starts to speak of it, we can almost tune it out. Brother Kaung spoke of it again at the family conference this year. But it is such a vital part of this Christian life.
As we yield to Him, as John yielded to Him, we see this great transforming work. We see John in a certain way, but no longer under the control of his self-nature. We see him progressively more and more under the control of the Spirit. We see it in Peter’s life, in Paul, and in all lives. That is what the Lord desires to do in our lives.
Let us look at a couple of situations in John’s life where he basically blew it pretty good, and the Lord corrected him. Thankfully, John was teachable. Whenever the Lord brought correction to John, he learned something from it. It was a beautiful picture of Christ increasing and John decreasing.
Turn over to Luke 9:46-56. The disciples were together again, and an argument arose among them over who was the greatest. That still goes on today. Maybe one day y’all will learn that I am the greatest and the argument will stop. But for now, you are getting there.
The disciples were debating and arguing among themselves about who was greatest. The Lord brought a little child alongside them and taught them the principle found in Luke 9:48: the least is the greatest. At this point, they did not get it.
The Lord is so patient. He lays a truth out, and many times the disciples do not get it. But He brings another situation around and around, and eventually they get it. Is that not true in our lives? The Lord shows us something, and at first we know it is true, but the reality has not hit us. Then we go through circumstances and begin to gain a little more understanding.
Then John, in his thunderous personality, makes an abrupt statement:
And John answered and said, Master, we saw one casting out demons in Thy name; and we forbade him, because he followeth not with us.
But Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against you is for you.—Luke 9:49-50
There is no evidence that the man casting out demons was doing anything wrong. He was doing it in the name of Jesus. There is no evidence that he was self-serving or trying to gain his own empire. He was there in the name of Jesus, casting out demons.
What was John’s issue with him? The real issue was not the casting out of demons. It was the little phrase John used: “He is not with us.” Jesus corrected him and said, “He that is not against you is for you.” The Lord was teaching John about the danger of narrowness and exclusiveness.
How do we treat brothers and sisters within the body of Christ who are not with us? John was being exclusive: “If they are not with us, then away with them.” It also showed his narrowness of vision and an inability to recognize the other children of God.
Anyone born of Christ is in the body of Christ. Even close association with the Lord Jesus can bring an element of spiritual pride: “We are closer. We know more. We are better.” Then all of a sudden, you think you are superior to others: “They are not with us.”
Let me get very personal here. We know much. We have heard much teaching on God’s eternal purpose. We can throw the phrase around: “Oh, they do not know that. They are not with us.” We need to be careful. God’s work in these last days is that we would have a right attitude toward all our brothers and sisters.
Others might not be walking the same path the Lord has called us to walk. We are called to be faithful to the walk He has given us. Others are walking in the light they have. Maybe at times they are walking more faithfully according to the light they have than we are according to what we have been taught.
There is a great warning, particularly in times of recovery, that we might really see the fullness of what the Lord has brought us into. If we see the reality of the body of Christ, the house of God, and the family of God, we will embrace all our brothers and sisters.
Let me clarify: we embrace them as individuals and persons. We might not necessarily embrace their teaching, beliefs, or practices. But we embrace the individual—our brothers and sisters—because we are one. We are all in Christ.
It is tragic throughout the history of the church how there has been so much division, misunderstanding, and hurt because people are “not with us” and have differing opinions and thoughts. Praise God, we are in Christ, and every believer out there, we are one with them. There is no us and them. We are in Christ; Christ is in us; and there is a oneness there.
That is why, in Ephesians, Paul encourages us to be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. He adds that phrase, “in the bond of peace,” because He knows it will be difficult. But there is a unity of the Spirit that we have in Christ, until one day we all achieve the unity of the faith.
Praise God, John got this. He learned this lesson. Look at his first epistle, 1 John 1.
That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you also, that ye also may have fellowship with us:
yea, and our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ.—1 John 1:3
We walk in the light we have, in the light of Christ, in the fullness of all that we have. We walk together with our brothers and sisters, and there is a Christ that we share. That is our oneness.
But if we walk in the light as He is in the light,
we have fellowship one with another,
and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanseth us from all sin.—1 John 1:7
This is the visible testimony of the corporate expression of Christ when we are walking together with brothers and sisters. This is the testimony of that hymn: “I am the Lord’s.” This is the testimony: we are the Lord’s when we walk together in Him and allow Him to sustain and keep us.
One of the greatest works in church history was the Moravian movement. The Moravians were together in unity and oneness for close to a century. Their phrase, or motto, which has been handed down, was very precious to them and really helped keep them together:
In things essential, unity.
In things non-essential, liberty.
In all things, love.
In things essential, unity. In things non-essential—such as varying interpretations of the Lord’s return and various practices—liberty. But in all things, love.
That is why John writes in 1 John 4:20, and he gets pretty personal with us:
If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar:
for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, cannot love God whom he hath not seen.—1 John 4:20
You see your brother, and you say you hate him. But you have not seen God, and you say you love Him. You are fooling yourself. Now, do not get me wrong. What John is speaking of here is our heart attitude. It is easy to say with our mouth, “Oh, I do not hate them.” But what is our heart attitude?
It is an issue of heart that the Lord is after. If we are really going to allow the Lord to fully recover the testimony of Jesus among His people in this hour, our hearts need to be dealt with so that we have the right attitude toward brothers and sisters, toward those He has brought us together with.
If you look back at Luke 9, the story continues. As they walk along, they come to a Samaritan village. Here we see John’s intense natural zeal and loyalty to Jesus. John had very good intentions.
The Lord had resolutely set His face toward Jerusalem. He knew He was going there to be crucified. As they passed through the Samaritan village, the village did not receive them. John and his brother said, “Lord, wilt Thou that we bid fire to come down from heaven, and consume them?”
John was defending his Master’s honor. He loved Jesus so much, and these people were not receiving Jesus. So, in zeal for defending his Master, he said, “I am going to call down fire.” Actually, it was a tremendous statement of faith on John’s part. He had no doubt. Just like Elijah called down fire, John said, “I am going to call down fire.”
He did not say, “Can I call it down?” or “Maybe we could.” No, he said, “Boom, I am going to do it.” He knew in his heart that fire was going to come down. But the Lord rebuked him: “Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.”
Praise God, John learned a lesson. That is why he encourages us in 1 John 4:1 to test the spirits. So often we do not know what spirit we are of. Sometimes we think we are being spiritual, but it is actually just our soul-life or flesh working out.
The flesh and soul can look so religious. We can have good intentions. We can desire this or that. But is it really of the Spirit? That is why the testing of the spirits is so vital. John learned these lessons.
These two pictures of John learning lessons show a characteristic of disciples in days of recovery: they are teachable. Dana was sharing about this when he spoke about the church in Laodicea. They were not teachable. They were closed. They said, “We have need of nothing. We know this; we know that.”
Are we teachable in this day? Are we adjustable in this day? Are we pliable in the hands of the Holy Spirit? Praise God, John was. He could be used and trained by the Lord in a mighty, mighty way to bring about recovery toward the end of the first century.
As John continued along, he came to a crisis point in his life. All of us have these in our lives. John knew the Lord and walked with the Lord, but then there was a crisis point where he saw the Lord from a whole different perspective, in a whole different way than he had known Him before.
This is in Matthew 20:20-28, where John and James asked for preference in the kingdom of God. In Matthew, their mother actually asked for it—that motherly ambition for her sons—but the sons were with her in it.
The mother of the sons of Zebedee came to the Lord, bowed down, and made a request. He asked, “What wouldest thou?” She said, “Command that in Thy kingdom these my two sons may sit, one on Thy right hand, and one on Thy left hand.”
The Lord said, “Ye know not what ye ask.” Right up front, we see blatant ambition. They were seeking a position. It was not only blatant ambition; it was ignorant and presumptuous too. They did not have a clue what they were asking for. They wanted something outward. They thought that if they had this position, they would have power and authority.
Then the Lord revealed a whole different perspective of the kingdom. He said, “Are ye able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?” They said, “We are able.” The Lord knew they were not able to drink the bitter cup that He alone would drink. But both James and John drank a cup of sorrows and suffering. James was martyred, and John lived a martyr’s life.
John lived a martyr’s life because he denied himself throughout his life. He lived the way of the cross, denying himself. The others became indignant, but it was not because they had some great spiritual point. They wanted the position too, and they were upset that James and John had asked first.
The Lord revealed the true nature of the kingdom. As Christian Chen liked to say—well, I should not use present tense anymore—His kingdom is an upside-down kingdom. The kingdom of God is an upside-down kingdom.
In His kingdom, the least is the greatest. The highest rank in the kingdom of God is a bondservant, the servant of all. In His kingdom, the King came not to be served, but to serve. Our very King became as nothing.
Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto,
but to minister,
and to give His life a ransom for many.—Matthew 20:28
It is so contrary to the way of the world. The kingdom of God is a whole different perspective. John had one concept of the kingdom of God, and then the Lord showed him a whole different concept. It is not about gaining power. It is by serving and taking that low place.
The character of His kingdom is the character of humility. It is the character of the King. The character of the kingdom is based on His life. Where is the kingdom of God? It is where the King is, and where His character is expressed. It is the character of the King—humility—and it is so contrary to our natural thinking.
Praise God, John’s eyes were opened. He saw this from a whole different perspective. It began to make sense what John the Baptist had said about not increasing, but decreasing. Perhaps he remembered Luke 9, where the Lord said, “The least is the greatest.” The Lord was repeating it, and John was starting to get it.
I believe this is why John never mentions his own name in his writings. John saw that he was a bondservant. He saw that he was really nothing, because a bondservant is not mentioned or noted. In Matthew, where Christ is presented as King, you have a genealogy. In Luke, where He is presented as the Son of Man, you have a genealogy. But in Mark, Christ is presented as Servant, and a servant does not have a genealogy.
I think that is why John does not use his own name in his writings. He considered himself as nothing. This was a critical turning point in John’s life because now he started to see things from a whole different perspective. He was no longer living for himself, but living for the Lord.
Turn over to John 13. The Lord and His disciples were gathered for the Lord’s Supper in the upper room. In John 13:21-26, the Lord told them, “One of you will betray Me.” This stunned the apostles. They began looking at one another and questioning who it would be.
Peter leaned over to John and said, “Ask Him.” John was lying on the Lord’s breast, and John asked, “Lord, who is it?” The Lord said, “He it is, for whom I shall dip the sop, and give it him.” John saw the Lord dip the morsel and give it to Judas. So John knew Judas was going to betray Him.
How did John react? Nothing. You start to see how the Lord was working in his life. John did nothing. This was the son of thunder. This was the one who, when the Samaritan village would not accept the Lord, wanted to call down fire from heaven.
The natural John would have taken Judas out just like that. He would have done him in. But John was no longer living for himself. He was saying, “If my Master is not exposing Judas, if my Master is not calling him out, I am not going to take the initiative. I am going to keep my eyes on my Master, the Lamb of God, and what He does, I am going to follow.”
We see John no longer acting in himself, but under the control of the Lord. You could call it self-restraint, but it was actually Spirit-controlled restraint. John was no longer thundering out from himself. He was allowing the Lord to constrain him. He was seeing things from a whole different perspective.
Then, after the Lord was arrested, John was there in the courtyard where the Lord’s trial was occurring. In John 18:15-16, John helped Peter come into the courtyard. The Lord was being tried there, and Peter denied the Lord. But John was there, following the Lord and seeing what was going on.
In John 19, at the crucifixion, all the other disciples had fled and left the Lord, but John was there.
There were standing by the cross of Jesus His mother,
and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.
When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple standing by whom He loved,
He saith unto His mother, Woman, behold thy son!—John 19:25-26
We can read these stories and say, “It is really nice of John to be there.” But actually, this was a very dangerous time, both in the courtyard and at the crucifixion. John did not know what would happen to him. The Lord was being crucified, and all the other disciples had naturally fled to save themselves.
Even though John knew the high priest in the courtyard, I do not think his confidence was in the high priest. I believe his confidence was in the Lord. John was in a place where he was identified with the Lord. He said, “I am the Lord’s, and I am standing with Him.”
John recognized that it was dangerous, but he was constrained by the love of Christ. This is why John could later write in 1 John that perfect love casts out fear. It was not a theoretical, cute little phrase. He was experiencing it in that courtyard, where naturally we would be fearful, and at the crucifixion, watching the Lord be crucified.
John could say, “This perfect love of Him is casting out all fear. I know the peace of God. I know being held.” This was what held and constrained John.
There is a little phrase that speaks of John as “the disciple whom He loved.” John is referred to in the Gospel as the one whom Jesus loved. Does this make John special? Actually, I do not think so. Who does the Lord love? He loves each and every one of us.
If we were writing this Gospel, every one of us would be writing too, “I am the disciple whom Jesus loves.” Jim is the disciple whom Jesus loves. Jerry is the disciple whom Jesus loves. Gail is the disciple whom Jesus loves. Every one of us is the disciple whom Jesus loves.
John simply knew that love. It was not some extra-special love. The Lord does not have more love for one than another. He loved John, and He loves each one of us. He died for each one of us. Each one of us has that precious title: we are disciples whom Jesus loves. Brothers and sisters, do we know that?
Our title is that we are disciples whom Jesus loves. Praise God for that. That is so comforting and encouraging in this hour. John knew that love, and that love held him. Paul writes of being constrained by the love of Christ.
After our Lord was crucified, the disciples went fishing. In John 21, they had fished all night and caught nothing. A man standing by the sea told them to cast the net on the other side. They cast the net on the other side and caught more fish than they could bring in.
John said, “It is the Lord.” John recognized it. None of the others recognized Him, but John recognized that it was the Lord.
Remember, at the beginning of John’s Gospel, John did not recognize the Lord. John the Baptist had to point out, “Behold, the Lamb of God,” and then he recognized Him. Now we see a maturing disciple, one who was in love. He looked out and knew: “That is the Lord.”
That eye of love was fixed on Him. John continued to grow, and that love held him. Even though others might not see, he knew the Lord. He had that relationship, that abiding with Him. He could say, “Brothers and sisters, that is the Lord.” He could point it out, encourage, and help.
He did not do it in a selfish way or a braggadocious way. He did it for all their sakes: “That is the Lord.” They came to shore, and the Lord fed and took care of them all.
Later, as you continue through Acts, John was there on the day of Pentecost, at the birth of the church in Jerusalem. Turn over to Acts 8. This is one of the great stories of John.
Philip had gone to Samaria to preach the gospel, and people were saved. The apostles in Jerusalem heard of this, and they sent two apostles down to Samaria. Who did they send? They sent Peter and John to pray for the Samaritans that they might receive the Holy Spirit.
Now when the apostles that were at Jerusalem heard that Samaria had received the word of God,
they sent unto them Peter and John:
who, when they were come down, prayed for them, that they might receive the Holy Spirit.—Acts 8:14-15
I love this. To me, it shows the great sense of humor of the Lord. Remember a few chapters earlier: who was it that wanted to call down fire on the Samaritans and destroy them? John. Well, actually, he ended up getting to do that.
He got to call down the holy fire from heaven, the Holy Spirit, to baptize them with the fire of God and bring them into the experience of all that. I wonder whether, after the fact, John told them, “Hey, you know, one time I was here, and I was going to call down fire and destroy all of you.”
But it shows how this was one who, at one moment, was going to destroy these people, and the next was being used by the Lord to bring them into the fullness of the Holy Spirit. That is a transformed life. It is a beautiful picture of the Lord increasing and John decreasing.
Then, in Acts 12, John’s brother James was martyred.
Now about that time Herod the king put forth his hands to afflict certain of the church.
And he killed James the brother of John with the sword.—Acts 12:1-2
Praise God, John was not offended by this. He continued to go on and serve the Lord. If you think about it, John and James had been together many years. There was hurt, pain, and sorrow.
But John had been captured by the Lord in such a way that he did not allow this to derail him or throw him off. If John had looked at the other disciples and said, “I have had enough. My brother has been killed. I am going back home,” naturally they would have all said, “We understand.”
But John did not do that. He said, “No, my Master has captured me. I am going on.” He did not allow the pain and suffering of these natural affections, these God-given relationships, to deter him from pressing on. He pushed on through that.
Please understand: we understand John’s sorrow, and we sympathize with that. But he did not allow it to be a stumbling block to him. He pressed on.
John is not mentioned in Acts anymore. Paul refers to him one time as one of the pillars of the church in Jerusalem. But we know John continued serving the Lord and the brothers and sisters in the churches throughout Asia Minor.
Next time, when we share, we will see how the Lord raised John up through the first three epistles and the book of Revelation. But we see that this was one whom the Lord used in a precious way.
Step by step, the Lord prepared John to be a vessel of recovery. He prepared John to be made ready. In these days, this is much of the desire of our hearts: that we could be vessels prepared, vessels fit for the Master’s use.
John went through this in a very simple way. He simply followed the Lamb. Wherever the Lamb went, he followed the Lamb. He abided with the Lamb daily and continually, having that relationship with the Lamb of God. This was preparing him and doing that work in him.
He was teachable also. He was always learning more and more of the Lamb. He saw that there was so much more of Christ that he wanted to see. Are we pressing on like that too?
John’s interests were not set on his own interests, but on the interests of the Lamb. The cross was working within his life, saying, “Not I, but Christ,” every day. John was pressing on. May we allow the Lord to prepare us in these last days.
Much of this repeats what we heard at the family conference. There was a great call related to preparation: preparation of hearts, relationship, and life with Him. We are thankful for an Apostle John whom the Lord could use.
For about fifty years, John would be hidden. Then, around A.D. 90, when the church was at a point of declension, the Lord raised John up for a ministry. All of a sudden, this son of thunder, this thunderous voice, thundered out again to call people back to the Lord.
He had one message: bringing people back to the Lord. May we have that similar message. May we have a similar testimony like John: “I am the Lord’s,” with joy beyond expression.
Lord, we are thankful for the great calling that You have on each and every one of us. Lord, we are thankful that You have made each one of us so fearfully, wonderfully, and uniquely.
Lord, we want to give You great freedom and liberty to work within our lives, to conform us to Your image. Lord, may we not be living for ourselves, but living for You. May we be those who allow the very life of the Holy Spirit to be expressed in a fuller and greater way in each of our lives.
Lord, as You work individually, we know that You do that among us also. We are thankful that we can be those who call upon the name of the Lord. We are thankful, Lord, that You are still speaking to us.
We are thankful that it is still called today, and that we have opportunities to respond. In Jesus’ name, amen.