So we come to this last time. I was going to say I just wanted to share a few words to close, but sometimes when people say “a few words,” that terrifies us, because we know that an hour and a half later they are still talking. You know those… But I am going to try to keep this brief.
It has been a blessing being together this week. You know, the many prayers that have gone up for many months over this conference—it is wonderful to enter into the answered prayers. At times we were praying, maybe with just a little faith: “Lord, how are You going to do this?” At times things would come up: “Lord, how are You going to work this out?” At times, ones who were planned to do a workshop could not come: “Lord, who are You going to provide?”
And praise God, we are here to testify: He has provided above and beyond what we ever asked or thought. He is a wonderful God, and we are so thankful that we were the beneficiaries this week of His blessing.
As you look at the handbook here, there were those three questions that we had. It says, “What is truth?” And we have seen in a very living way that the truth, as a Person, is Christ Himself.
And it says, “Who are You, Lord?” And we have seen that He is the Living One, that Living One within us, and the dynamic of the fullness of Him: the One full of love, full of light, full of righteousness, full of holiness. There is a fullness to Him—not a warped picture that the world would try to present us, but the One who has first loved us and called us unto Himself.
We had that third question: “What shall I do?” We are thankful, you know, as Dana mentioned last night, what we are doing is abiding in Him. We are letting the Realizer—if I can get all these words right. It is a whole new vocabulary. It is tough summarizing some of these things—but the Realizer works within us. We find out that it is He and Him who is doing the work.
Paul says in Philippians 2—and Paul’s words, sometimes, put the fear of God in you at first. He says:
Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling;
for it is God who worketh in you both to will and to work, for His good pleasure.—Philippians 2:12-13
That is a terrifying verse. I mean, if you just look at that little phrase, you say, “Man, this is hopeless.” But praise God, it does not stop there. He is doing it.
And Jim, as he tricked us yesterday morning, said, “I am not going to answer that question of what are you to do,” and then he turns around and answers it for us. He did not answer it in the natural realm, but in the spiritual reality. He saw there is a life within us just dying to be discovered.
Do we know the jealousy of this One within us, who is so desiring just to burst forth? There is a bomb, there is a dynamite—even within the Greek language there is this word, dynamite, just desiring to explode from within us. Are we going to step out of the way and let that dynamic life come forward? We have seen that life this week. We have touched that life, and we are so thankful for it.
As we close this morning, I would like for us to look back at our theme verse again, those chapters there in John 18 where you have that conversation with Pilate and Jesus, and the verse that we have been reading. I am actually going to read the whole verse.
Pilate therefore said unto Him, What is truth? And when he had said this, he went out again unto the Jews, and saith unto them, I find no crime in Him.
—John 18:38
Now, to give us a little more comprehensive picture of what Pilate was going through, turn back for a second to Matthew 27. You look at Matthew 27, and we see some of the wrestlings Pilate was going through, some of the pressures that he was under.
If we look at Matthew 27:18-19, Pilate knew it was because of envy that they delivered Him up. You know, Pilate—and it is interesting in a way—asked, “What is truth?” Yet in the situation, Pilate was seeing clearly what some true motives were, more so than others. Pilate could see that Jesus was being brought to him because of envy, because of these Pharisees and Sadducees.
And then he continues in verse 19:
And while he was sitting on the judgment-seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that righteous man; for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of Him.
—Matthew 27:19
And here is one who loves Pilate, who really cares for him, and she comes up to him and says, “Honey, would you please let God mess with this guy? You are going to be getting in a lot of trouble.” Down South, we call everybody “honey.” You know, we had to teach Jim, when he moved to Richmond from Southern California, how to say “honey.” Now Jim is an expert honey-er. He will let you know that he can handle it now.
So we see how he is getting pressure from so-called bad influences—these evil men. He sees they are doing it from envy. And he is getting influence from a good person who loves him and cares for him. So he is really getting torn within.
I would like to use this story to encourage us, because as you look at John 18 and 19, you see two men at a time of crisis. Pilate is in a crisis for his life. Jesus is at a moment of crisis in His life also.
The reason I would like for us to look at this is because each one of us, after we leave here, God in His great love will provide a moment of crisis for each and every one of us. It is an opportunity for Him to take what we have heard this week—that absolute truth—and allow that absolute truth to become the experiential reality that we are so desiring.
Now, why is God going to allow us to go through this crisis? Because during this week, I believe every one of us has said, “Lord, I want to know You more. I have a hunger for You.” Some way, we have expressed a desire to go on with the Lord. We have found ourselves not content where we are.
And when we are doing that, we are actually giving God permission. God never goes against our will. If you do not want God to work in your life, and you tell the Lord, “I do not,” He backs off. But the response we have seen this week from each and every one of you is, “Lord, there is more of You I want to touch. Lord, I have seen You in part, and there is more I want.”
As we offer Him that freedom in our lives, He starts working, and He brings about these times of crisis.
I would like for us to be thinking about this: how the Lord is going to take some of the things we have heard this week and bring them about in a living, experiential reality within our hearts and lives.
Now, how many of you can relate to Pilate? How many Pilates are there in this room?
Well, I would contend that every one of us is a Pilate in ourselves. Without Christ, I know myself somewhat. I know that if I did not know the Lord, I would be acting in myself the same way that Pilate acted.
One of the things about seeing more of the Lord is that we start to come to know ourselves in a small way. I said that at this time of crisis for these two men, and as you see these two men, one man, out of a fear of man and a love for himself, saved himself. Another Man, out of a love for mankind, denied Himself and saved everybody else.
Pilate—you see a great contrast. And I know within my own life, at times I have had situations when they came up, and I have saved myself. We save face. We find ourselves in a certain situation, a certain environment, and we do something that we really do not want to do.
But we find ourselves being like what Paul says in Romans 7: “I want to do good, but I find myself doing bad. I want to try to do this, but I end up doing this.” And this is like Pilate. Pilate knew it himself. I think he knew what was good, but he loved himself so much that he went ahead, went along, and saved himself.
You know, one of the beautiful things in these times of crisis is that we get to know the Lord in a great and wonderful way like we never have before. We each will have opportunities every day to make a choice.
Really, the Christian life, in many ways, is a life of choices. Each day we have a choice: Who are we going to serve? Who are we going to follow? Is it going to be the Lord, or is it going to be ourselves?
And quite often it is a mixture. But praise God for the blood of the Lamb that cleanses us. As we make those wrong choices, it does not disqualify us either, because in His great love He arranges another circumstance to bring us back and give us that opportunity to get back in the race and keep going on.
He loves us so much. It is so wonderful how, as we go through these things, the Lord orchestrates our life. He is jealous for us, that we would discover the riches of Himself within us.
As we look at Pilate, we mentioned that he had these three influences in his life. He had these evil ones encouraging him to do something wrong, and they were doing it for their own selfish ambitions.
A lot of times, if we are honest, when we face some choices, maybe some ones who are close to us—maybe some friends, so-called friends—in our heart we know what the right thing is. But ones around us are encouraging us to do evil. Ones are pushing us this way, pushing us that way. “Oh, if you will just do this. If you will just do that. Come along with us.”
The Proverbs are full of that: the enticing, how the world is trying to entice this young man to go this way and not follow the Lord. We see that there are many of these pressures, and the pressures can be in public or they can be in private.
When you are alone in your room, and you are maybe on your computer—I know periodically some of you get on your computer, but for those who are rarely on your computer—at times you will see that you are doing something, and all of a sudden this little voice says, “Hey, nobody is home. Nobody will know. Why do not you just click it? Why do not you go to this website?”
And do you find there is a struggle there? You say, “No, no, no, I know I should not do it.” But then, “Oh, you might see something there, some pleasure. Oh, just click, just for a moment.” And there is a wrestling within.
“Go to this chat room. Maybe why do not you go watch this movie?” You know it is not something you should be watching, something you should be doing. But there is a wrestling within, if we are honest with ourselves.
And praise God, we are thankful that we have that life within that can hold us, so that we can make that right choice. Pilate gave in. He did not say no to that evil voice. But praise God, we can.
Not only did he have that evil voice pushing against him, but he had that good voice saying, “Come on, do not get messed up with this guy.” His wife was encouraging him. Praise God, we have brothers and sisters around us who are encouraging us.
Maybe we want to do something that we should not do, but brothers and sisters are saying, “You know you should not do that. That is not the right choice. You do not do that.” But there is this wrestling within.
Do you find yourselves wrestling with God at times? It is actually a wonderful experience, because it is one time in life—it is the one wrestling match in life—where there is a benefit in losing. Most times we wrestle to win. When you are wrestling with God, you lose, and you get the benefit, and you win in eternity. That is the thing, because His heart for us is good.
Finally, as you look at Pilate here, as he is wrestling, he is not only wrestling with man. He has these bad men and he has good, both trying to influence him. But also, Pilate, within his own heart—in one way, we could say he is wrestling with God.
He has encountered Jesus Christ. And even though that light—that zapper at that moment—did not come in… What kind of zapper is it? Zoe Zapper? Okay. Even though that Zoe Zapper of life did not come in, it was a reality that he touched.
Even an unbeliever, when they touch a reality of Christ, there is something there. I know it is of a different… You can see by his conversation. It is wonderful, actually. Jesus and Pilate had a really nice dialogue back and forth. Jesus took time to have conversation with him, discussed where He was from, and all of this. So they had a good conversation.
Pilate sensed, “What realm are You from? Are You a king?” He is asking these questions because he is sensing there is something different here. Because he senses there is something different in Christ, he starts to wrestle, and he tries every which way to get out of this.
First, he says, “Oh, hey, you guys have a tradition of releasing one man. How about releasing Him?” And you can see the enemy is already plotting, because it seems like, even without a thought, they immediately respond, “Barabbas!” It is like, whoa. Pilate was not expecting such a quick response. He thought he had the answer. He thought he had figured out a way to get out of this.
He said, “We are going to release Jesus,” and they would say, “Oh, okay.” But it was like the enemy had almost anticipated it and said, “No, Barabbas.” Whoa. The plot did not work.
So he goes back and talks to Jesus a little more. He even says, “Oh, I will scourge Him.” So he beats Him a little bit, scourges Him, which actually was illegal for Pilate to do. He was not allowed to scourge somebody who was uncondemned.
He said, “Well, if I show them I am breaking the law by doing this, maybe that will satisfy them.” So he beats Him a little bit, brings Him out again, and they say, “No, crucify Him.”
And then finally he goes out, and he is trying to release Him. They say, “This Man says He is the Son of God.” And boy, that got Pilate’s attention.
If you look down at John 19, after those Jews had said, “This Man claims Himself to be the Son of God,” there in verse 7, John 19:8 says:
When Pilate therefore heard this saying, he was the more afraid.
—John 19:8
He was shaken in his boots. This was a man of this earth who had tremendous power. He had absolute power over everybody there. He could snap his fingers; one was raised up, one was put down. But he was terrified, because he had encountered something of a different realm. He did not understand it, but there was something there.
But because of his fear of man and his love for himself, he went along, and we know that Christ was crucified.
He tried every which way to get out of it. He was maneuvering. At times, we know just within us and the Lord, we know what God wants us to do. But we can try to wrestle to get our own way.
Maybe you want to go to a certain university. You want to go there because your girlfriend goes there, your best friend goes there, various other reasons. You like the colors of the school, you like the mascot, whatever. But you know within your heart that God is asking you to go to this place.
And then what do we do? We start rationalizing. We start wrestling. Maybe it is a job situation. A couple of doors open up for jobs, and there is a sense, you know within, God wants you over here. But there is something where you really like this company. This is a company of reputation. “Man, if I am with J. P. Morgan or one of these huge, big companies, everybody will look up to me.”
It is like in the accounting world: if you are with KPMG, you are at the top of the world. Most of you have no idea what that was, but anyway, it is the greatest accounting firm in the history of the universe—totally without bias. And there are ones here who will attest to that too.
But anyway, we try to wrestle. We know what God’s will is, but we are trying to rationalize and get out of it and everything. We feel like we want to do this, but He is pulling us this way. So praise the Lord, we have this life within that wins all the time and has overcome.
I am so thankful for the Lord’s patience with each and every one of us, and how He works in our lives as we go through these crises. We cannot make it through ourselves, but praise God, we have the life within us that can lead us through.
It is not because we are such great men of faith. Sometimes we have a very little bit of faith, but we have a great God.
I wanted to share a little testimony of my life, of when I was in a crisis. It is interesting what I define a crisis as. I look back now, and it did not seem that big a deal, but to me at that moment it was a huge crisis.
Within each of your lives, there is probably something going on that, to you, is a huge crisis. Other people might not look upon it that way. They say, “Why are you worried about that?” That is because they do not understand. Each one of us has our own walk, and each one of us has the things we have got to go through.
As I look back at my crisis, it does not look like that big a thing, but at the moment it was a huge wall in front of me. It all involved that great crisis of softball.
Now many of you will even laugh at that. But after Stella and I got married, we came back to the Lord, and we became involved with the assembly in Richmond.
My whole life growing up, I had always been active in sports. In the ancient days, we played all sports. You went from playing football to playing basketball to playing baseball and track. You did not specialize in one sport, but you played everything. So I just grew up playing everything, whether you were good or bad.
Your high school was so small, everybody had to play. If you were over six feet, you were on the basketball team. It did not matter. I was never set apart like Jim; I was just over six feet, so I was on the team.
My specialty in basketball was that I could get in front of somebody really quick—believe it or not, I could get set up in front of somebody. I was great at drawing a charge. I could never make a basket, but I could draw a charge. People would run into me, and I could make the free throws.
But anyway, after Stella and I got married and I finished college, I was working for that great accounting firm. We had a softball team, and so I was playing softball. I was on the team, and I was—I do not know how you humbly say you were pretty good—but anyway.
Our softball games were every Wednesday night. Well, in the South, you know what happens on Wednesday night. That is prayer meeting night. Some other places pray on Tuesday and Thursday. In the South, you always pray on Wednesday nights. That is it. It does not matter if you are in a denomination, a local assembly, whatever. For some reason, Wednesday night is prayer night.
Well, I was playing softball on Wednesday night, and it was so precious. I would go to the softball game, and Stella would go on to the prayer meeting. But then the Lord started working in my heart, and He said, “Mac, I want you to give up softball, and I want you to start being at the prayer meeting.”
Nobody told me to do that. The brethren in the assembly were very gracious. Stella was very gracious. No, she was. She is the most gracious nagger you will ever meet.
We prayed, because I knew. I knew in my heart what I should do. But I was trying to figure out, like Pilate, how to get out of it. I had the so-called evil ones influencing me—the guys at work. They were saying, “You know, Mac, you have got to keep playing. You are so valuable to the team.” Stella and the brethren were just praying, encouraging me in a right way to give it up.
So I was really wrestling. Like Pilate, I tried to get out of it. I was trying to work my way out and save face, because I was not a person of great faith. I had a little faith, and so I relied on myself. I tried my way of getting out of it.
First I was rationalizing. I said, “Well, you know, everybody at work knows I am a Christian. As a Christian, I gave them my word that I would play softball this year. So if I go back on my word, it will ruin my testimony.”
That made so much sense to me. I was able to rationalize, and that kind of worked for about seven or eight days. Then the Lord said, “No.” He blew that one out of the water. He said, “No, you are going to follow Me.”
So I said, “Well, how can I do this?” I just did not have the faith to quit and walk away. I wanted to preserve my reputation, save face, and all of that. So I said, “I know what I will do. I will start playing bad so that they will not mind if I leave the team.”
Well, I knew I could not change my swing too much. You could not be so obvious that you were trying. So I remember one time I went out and said, “Well, I am just going to slow my swing a little bit.” You can make little adjustments in your swing that have a big impact.
So what happened? I slowed my swing. First time at bat, I slowed my swing. Normally I hit left or center; the ball went to right field. If any of you ever play softball, who do they put in right field? The worst fielder of all.
I hit the ball to right field, and this guy had no idea what to do. He totally misplayed it, and I got a home run. I said, “Oh, man.”
Next time I batted, I did not swing hard either, and it blooped again. It blooped right over the infield, right between. It was perfect placement. I think I went three for four or something that game. That did not work.
So I went to the next week, the next game. I said, “Well, what am I going to do?” I remember the first time I came to bat that game. In a crisis, it is amazing what you remember. But I still remember these ball games because it was where the Lord became real to me. That is why I remember it.
I got up in the first game, and the bases were loaded and there was still nobody out. So what does that tell you? That means I was batting cleanup.
The only thing you had to do to score a run was just hit the ball in the air. It would go down, somebody would catch it, but at least the runner on third would score. I knew that, so I said, “No fly balls.” I said, “What I will do, I will kind of adjust myself. I will hit a chopper. Maybe I will hit into a double play.”
So I kind of chopped the ball. The ball went right up the middle and chopped right through the infield, into the outfield. Runners on second and third scored. The throw to third base to get the guy from first, who was going around, overthrew the bag. So the guy scored. I got two RBIs, and the third run scored on an error. I cleaned the bases. I ended up at second.
It was like, “This is not working.” I said, “I am trying.” I kept trying all these different ways. I imagine some of you, in the various things that you wrestle with, have probably tried some of your little ways of getting out of it too.
But finally, I said, “I have got to just tell them.” So I went in and told the manager of the team, who was also your boss, which makes it worse. I said, “I am going to have to quit. We have prayer meeting on Wednesday night, and I need to be there.”
And the world is so wonderful. He says, “Mac, do not worry about that. There is actually a church in my neighborhood that has a prayer meeting on Tuesday night. You can go there.”
I said, “No, no. Forget it. No, this is where we are going.”
So nobody understood at work, and I had to go through being misunderstood. But I knew in my heart I was doing the right thing. I was still wrestling.
That next Wednesday night came, and I went to prayer meeting. Everybody was so thankful to see me there. They were not trying to be too obvious, but they were happy to see me there. It was like, “Oh, our prayers finally worked on that.”
So I am at prayer meeting, but I am sitting there at prayer meeting, and I wish I had a great testimony of the year. Where was my heart? My heart was still out on the baseball field. But I was working through it.
I knew where I was supposed to be. I had a little faith, and I just obeyed the Lord, and I was there. I was miserable that first week, I will tell you.
But the Lord, in His mercy—I got to work the next day and found out they won without me. So I said, “All right. Thank You, Lord.” I did not have to take the blame for a loss.
The next week I went back to prayer meeting, and I started noticing during the week that I was having a desire to go to prayer meeting. Through that, within a couple of weeks, I had no more desire to be out playing softball. But I was looking forward. I was anxious to be with the brethren at the prayer meeting.
Because what I had touched was the reality of Christ. I had allowed the Realizer—I allowed the Holy Spirit; that is easier to say—the life of Christ within us. I had allowed Him to work within me, and I had discovered Him in a way that I did not know before.
I just want to share this as an encouragement to all of you. As you go home, as you go through various things, yes, it can appear to be a wall that there is no way you are going to make it through. In yourself, you do not have the faith to tell that wall to come down.
But if we simply yield to Him, if we are abiding in Him and trusting in Him and give Him an opportunity—the Lord is so anxious for us just to give Him a little opportunity to prove Himself to us.
The Lord proved Himself to me, and I discovered the riches of Himself. The Lord is jealous to prove Himself to each and every one of us. As we see these two men in this crisis here, it becomes very real within our own lives: the choices that we have to make.
We are praying for one another, that as we face those choices, the Lord will be ever faithful to show us more of Himself.
As we continue walking along, one of the great comforts to me for many years in the Gospel of John is at the very last verse. Turn over to John 21. If you have a red-letter edition, you will see some of the last words that Jesus spoke, because this really meets us and encourages us to keep going on.
We will see many things happening to other brethren. In this particular situation, the Lord had told Peter, “Peter, you are going to be crucified, but John is going to live on.” Peter is saying, “Wow, Lord, I do not understand.”
We find ourselves in situations where we look around. This brother does this, this brother is going this way, this sister is this, and we can get distracted. The brethren—what is going on?
But what is the Lord’s last word?
If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou Me.
—John 21:22
And that is what the Lord is calling us to in this hour, because each one of us goes through our various trials and our various situations. Let us not be distracted by what is going on with others. What is that to you? You follow Me.
When jealousy arises within our heart, when envy or things come up, what is that to you? You follow Me. As we follow Him, we learn more and more of the greatness of His life.
One of the beautiful things I have appreciated about the way Jim and Dana presented this whole matter is that they have actually brought us back to the simplicity of Christ.
The world and much of Christianity today tries to make it so complicated. “Oh, if you want to be a great Christian, you have got to get your PhD in Christianity.” They love to make it complicated.
But that was really John’s burden. John was simply desiring to bring ones back to that place of simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ, of just knowing Him.
As he started this Gospel with Christ, in the end he says, “Look, no matter what comes on, what others are doing, for you, you follow Me.” As we continue to follow Him day by day, we will enter into more and more of the great riches.
We are thankful for how the Lord has spoken to us this week in this matter. We are thankful for the various truths we have.
I wanted us to close with a hymn. Actually, it is a hymn which is a testimony out of Isaiah 43. Jim shared that verse; it has been shared a couple of times this week.
In Isaiah 43, the Lord says:
But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and He that formed thee, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed thee; I have called thee by thy name, thou art Mine.
—Isaiah 43:1
This hymn, in a different way than Jim shared that one group that wrote a psalm, is a testimony and a response to that. It says, “I am the Lord’s. I am the Lord’s.”
It goes on and says, “I am the Lord’s, O joy beyond expression.” Do we know the Lord in such a way?
As we go through some of these things—as I went through something silly to many of you, giving up softball—many of you, if you are not playing sports, cannot even relate to that. It sounds so stupid. But it was real in my life.
What you go through is real in your life. He wants to show Himself, the reality of who He is, to each and every one of us, that we come to that place of saying, “I am the Lord’s,” and have it settled within our hearts. From knowing that, we enter into saying, “Oh, joy beyond expression.”
We can sing that, and then I will close in prayer.
The congregation sings a hymn beginning, “I am the Lord’s, O joy beyond expression.”
Lord, again, we do want to return and worship You, that we can sing that I am the Lord’s. Lord, we are thankful how You have first loved us.
Lord, we are thankful that as we would close this time out, we can be praying for one another. Lord, we thank You for the blessedness of fellowship, the blessedness of this body of Christ that You have brought us into.
Lord, the blessedness of really this conference not ending, but that we are just continuing on this pathway of life that we have in You, Lord.
Lord, we pray for one another. Pray for every brother and sister here as they go back to their various localities, as they go back to the various circumstances of life. Some are going to pleasant times; some are going, even maybe fearful, to return home.
But Lord, we are thankful that You are with them. You are with each and every one of us, Lord. We are thankful how You never leave us. You never forsake us.
Lord, we have a desire within our heart, and I pray for each one of these, Lord, that the reality of Your life would come forth in a fuller and greater way.
Lord, as we find these crises that face us in daily life, may we not be those that shrink back. But when we get that glimpse of Your loving face wooing us unto Yourself, that loving face not expecting us to work our way through it, but simply yielding to You and allowing You to show us more of who You are.
Lord, defend each and every one of us from the enemy. We know You have done a great work during this week. We know the enemy has taken notice of that.
So we just say that each and every one of us is hidden in Christ, and the enemy has no ground, no basis, to touch us.
We are thankful, Lord, for the greatness of the salvation we have, and we are thankful that we can pray for one another, stand with one another, looking unto You, Lord, that we could be that testimony, the generation that You are calling us to be in this hour.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.