Let us first have a word of prayer.
Lord, we thank Thee for gathering us in Thy presence once again. We are willing, on the one hand, to hear Thy voice and also to see the work of Thy hand.
Because Thy word is not only truth, but indeed is able to be living amongst us, so that all of us would be brought into this condition which is to be meet for Thy use.
Lord, we praise and thank Thee because through Thy salvation, Thou hast delivered us from sin and death. We thank Thee even more because, upon the foundation of salvation, Thou dost continue to mold us.
Through every circumstance, whether it be changes amongst men or changes in the situations that Thou leadest us into, we are learning deeper lessons, so that we would be brought to be conformed into Thine own image.
Lord, indeed, Thou art our salvation. Thou savest us, and Thou savest us to the end. We are able to see how true and real Thy work is upon those whom Thou hast redeemed.
We come again this afternoon and look to Thee, so that we would see Thy enlightenment from Thy word, and so that we can see from Thy working hand how Thou wilt lead us into the riches of Thy glory.
Lord, we want once again to glorify Thy name, so that each of us in Thy presence, whether speaking or hearing, would be hid in Thee, and that only Thou wouldst be exalted here. We thank Thee.
Lead us in the time ahead. We pray in the Lord Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.
We thank the Lord that the conference has entered into the second afternoon meeting. The arrangement of the afternoon workshop in this location is “The Lesson of the Cross Through Daily Living.”
May it be that in our afternoon time of sharing, we will not only remain in some knowledge of doctrine, but that we would be able to see the work of God through His word and His work upon those whom He has chosen.
After we have been saved by grace, we can say that our relationship with God has been correctly adjusted. Yet we are still not the man that God is seeking; we are still afar off.
Yesterday we shared that God continues His work upon us, continues to mold us, until we are ones who are meet for His own use.
During the afternoons, we will look into the work of the cross from the standpoint of how God is able to gain those whom He is after, to be useful vessels in the Master’s hand, so that we can complete the eternal purpose of God.
Our Lord clearly tells us that we must deny ourselves, take up our cross daily, and follow Him.
This word daily tells us very clearly that every moment, every instant, every day of our lives, we cannot depart from this relationship with the cross. The longer we spend our days, the more we realize how far our own nature, and our being as men, is from the will and desire of God.
We are very experienced in focusing on ourselves and protecting ourselves. To be very honest, we do not know ourselves well.
Therefore, our Lord uses every circumstance in our daily living—whether through men, events, or things—to reveal to us our own nature.
These days, I oftentimes spend time exercising with the elderly. That is also a way of forcing myself to exercise as well. Throughout the week, I have a couple of hours to spend exercising Tai Chi with the elderly.
I can share one thing with you. I do not know the exact age, but there was someone who was retired. As we were exercising the Tai Chi movements, she needed a partner. But in the group, there was no one willing to practice with this particular individual.
So she became very angry. She came before me, grumbling. She said, “Nobody—everyone—looks down upon me. No one is willing to practice with me. Even your assistant is not willing to help me in any way. Actually, everyone else in the group is grieving against me.”
This person was Korean. Perhaps by nature, she had a more fierce cultural background. This individual was actually a female. She had quite long fingernails, and they were painted very bright red.
As she would practice with others, because of her nature and her long nails, it was very difficult for the partner. Everyone would try to stay away from her. In our particular group, even the youngest individual was over seventy years old, so they were not able to bear the practice in this way.
She did not realize that the problem lay with her. She only knew how to blame others: “This person is this way, and the other person is that way.”
Of course, on the one hand, I tried to calm her down. I tried to force myself and suffer a little bit to practice with her.
But in practicing with her, I had this deep insight within me. I did not blame her, because through this individual I was able to see my own nature. Just as we are, our own nature is the same.
Whenever something is wrong, it is the other person’s fault, and I am always right. It is not only that before men, but even when we come into God’s presence.
Whenever there is any problem, we always say to the Lord, “Lord, why is it me? Why is it that Thou wouldst not do such work upon someone else, but Thou pickest me all the time?”
Brothers and sisters, not only are we that way ourselves; when we look at Peter himself, each one of us, when we come into God’s presence, does not know himself well.
Sometimes we are able reluctantly to receive something from the Lord, but we always feel, “Hopefully, I am not the only one to bear such things.”
You would say to the Lord, “Lord, hopefully I am not the only one being dealt with this way. Others would be going through the same thing. Then I would have someone to come alongside me.”
Brothers and sisters, remember that our Lord said to Peter that one day he would be a martyr. When Peter saw John, Peter questioned the Lord and said, “That is for me. What about him? What about John?”
It would be best if this did not happen only to me, but also to John. So he asked the Lord, “What about this man, Lord?”
The Lord answered very well:
“If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? Follow thou Me.”
Brothers and sisters, we must confess that what we lack before the Lord is a wholeheartedness to follow Him without any reservation. Our eyes are always on something else; they are not upon the Lord Himself.
By nature, that is how we are. But thank God: in His salvation, He gives us such a qualification that we are able not to look at anyone else, not to look at any event or thing, but simply to look upon the Lord Himself.
Only in this way do we have a path before God. Then the Lord will also have a channel through which His will may be done.
Therefore, this afternoon I would like to share with brothers and sisters the issue of why we have to accept the cross. By our own nature, we are not willing to accept the cross. We are not willing to accept the cross.
But the reality is that each one of us who is saved by grace has this experience: from not being willing, from not being ready to receive the cross, we come to receive the cross joyfully and without any reservation, so that the Lord will be able to gain us for Himself as vessels meet for His own use.
Let us first turn to the Lord’s words. Let us turn to the Gospel according to John, Chapter 19.
We will look at verses 28 through 30.
After this Jesus, knowing that all things were now finished, that the scripture might be accomplished, saith, “I thirst.”
There was set there a vessel full of vinegar: so they put a sponge full of the vinegar upon hyssop, and brought it to His mouth.
When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, He said, “It is finished”: and He bowed His head, and gave up His spirit.
We would also turn to Galatians, Chapter 6. These Bible verses our brother has shared with us during the last two evenings. Let us look at them again: Galatians 6:14-15.
But far be it from me to glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom the world hath been crucified unto me, and I unto the world.
For neither is circumcision anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature.
I believe, brothers and sisters, that if we look at things from this angle—that we want to be vessels meet for the Master’s use—then these two verses in Galatians, Chapter 6, captivate us and attract us, because we want to be a new creature.
Now, are we this new creature, this new creation? Here it is not speaking of our position. In reality, we are already new men. But here it speaks of the reality of being an actual new creation.
This new creation is not speaking merely of our relationship with God having been correctly adjusted. It speaks of the fact that our nature is completely harmonious with, and complementary to, the nature of God. That is the issue.
Then the question is this: How can we, who are of dust and have fallen to the point where we are enemies of God, now become individuals who are meet with God?
God is working to gain for Himself a useful vessel. This useful vessel must have the same nature as God. Otherwise, it can still be a vessel, but it is not meet for God’s use.
Therefore, if we want to see the reality of being this new creature, how is it to be accomplished? In Galatians, we can see that it is still the working of the cross.
The cross first correctly adjusts our relationship with God. Then the work of the cross continues more deeply, molding us to be those who have the same nature as God and are meet for His use.
According to our nature, how can we readily receive someone who will make changes in us? We are not only speaking of changing our own nature. Even if someone were to change our daily habits, that is not easy at all.
For example, in my diet, I like food when it is full of flavor. If you serve me something plain and tasteless, I would be in sorrow, because that is a change in my habits. We are not easy to change at all.
According to our own nature, we are very determined. How is it that Thou wilt cause me to put aside myself, just as I am, and accept the Lord?
We thank our Lord. This work our Lord Himself first walked through. He Himself went on this way, and then He places upon us the finished work of what He has done, so that we are able to enjoy His finished work.
Brothers and sisters, if you take note of the words our Lord spoke when He was crucified—the seven sentences—the words we have just read in the Gospel according to John are the last words our Lord spoke on the cross. They are very short. In Chinese, there are only two words: “It is finished.”
Brothers and sisters, what does this tell us when He says, “It is finished”? From the words and the text, we can see that the will of the Father upon Him had now been fulfilled. It is finished.
Therefore, our Lord said, “It is finished,” and He gave up His spirit and entrusted it into the Father’s hand.
What does this matter, “It is finished,” tell us? Of course, we can understand that it tells us the way of salvation is finished. All the work of God that He is to do upon us is finished.
Our Lord was able to say with confidence and assurance, “It is finished,” and He gave up His spirit to God.
Oftentimes, when we consider the cross, this is our focus: the Lord has accomplished the salvation of God for us on the cross. But brothers and sisters, I do not know if you recall some of the sharing from Brother Land last year.
Brother Land shared, according to his understanding, that the reality of the cross was not only manifested at that moment when our Lord was crucified on the cross.
Even before our Lord was nailed to the cross, the meaning of the cross was revealed. Where was that? It was in the Garden of Gethsemane.
It was in the Garden of Gethsemane that the reality of the cross was revealed. Brothers and sisters, if you still recall the prayer of our Lord in the garden, the words were not many. They were only a few words:
“Father, if this cup may pass away from Me.”
“Nevertheless, not My will, but Thine, be done.”
Brothers and sisters, how was it that our Lord could be crucified on the cross? You recall that when He was arrested, Peter cut off the ear of the servant of the high priest.
Our Lord immediately healed his ear and made it whole. He had such power. Who was able to nail Him to the cross? If the Lord Himself had not willingly and wholeheartedly received this crucifixion, who was able to move our Lord or harm Him in any way? No one.
How was it that He was like a lamb led to the slaughter? He would accept whatever way men would deal with Him, because in the Garden of Gethsemane He had already accepted fellowship with God the Father:
“It is not according to My will, but according to Thy will.”
Brothers and sisters, when we consider those words our Lord said—“Not according to My will”—how many things, how many matters, do those words contain? We will not say too much; we will only share a little bit.
Our Lord could say to the Father, “Father, they are the ones who have committed sin. I am innocent. How is it that I would bear their sin?”
The Lord could also say to the Father, “Father, I am holy, without blame. I do not know sin. How is it that I can bear their iniquity and defile Myself?”
The Lord could say to the Father, “Father, I am the Lord of life. I have no connection whatsoever with death, and I hate death. How is it that I can accept this matter of death upon Me, to be revealed in Me?”
Brothers and sisters, if we truly consider all the content and detail of these words of our Lord—“Not according to My will”—we can still find much to say.
Our Lord had every right, absolute right before the Father, to say, “Find another way. The way of the cross is too damaging for who I am.” But thank our Lord: He said, “It is not according to My will, but according to Thy will.”
Our Father’s desire is to restore man. It is a very weighty thought of God in this restoration. So the Father said to the Lord, “Thou wilt still go on this path of the cross.”
Brothers and sisters, if the Father said to our Lord, “Humble Thyself, lower Thyself, and go on this way,” when did the Father say these words to the Son?
If I have not misunderstood, that was a word spoken by the Father to the Son even before the foundation of the world. Brothers and sisters, we can see this fact in 1 Peter 1, because the blood of the Lamb was already foreseen by God the Father before the foundation of the world.
We thank our Lord. Even though the acceptance of this was before the foundation of the world, in the Garden of Gethsemane that acceptance became a reality. This time was most crucial.
We thank our Lord. He was able to say, “Father, not according to My will, but according to Thy will.”
Brothers and sisters, this is truly to deny oneself. Our Lord denied Himself in this way. Our Lord accepted wholeheartedly and willingly all the arrangement of God the Father.
So even as He hung on the cross, He could say boldly and with confidence, “It is finished.”
The fact that He said, “It is finished,” completely reveals to us the life of our Lord, the nature of that life, and His own nature.
We thank our Lord. Indeed, He said, “It is finished,” on the cross. He was also buried in the tomb. But thank the Lord: He was also raised. This is how the salvation of God is fully manifested.
Brothers and sisters, do you realize what kind of salvation we have received today, as those who are saved by grace? This salvation is not only an external deliverance from sin and death.
At the same time, we receive the life of the Son of God as our life. It is the life of the Son of God that becomes our own life, and this life is a life obedient unto death.
Then we are amazed. When we see changes in brothers and sisters—how they have been completely changed—we are amazed. But our amazement is not only concerning other brothers and sisters. This change is also upon us.
You may say that we are stubborn, stubborn to the very end. How is it that I can change in this way? We are even amazed at ourselves. We thank our Lord.
This is the salvation of God to us. It not only takes care of the outward problem, but also deals with the issue within. It not only deals with the problems in our actions, but even the very reasons behind our actions.
When our Lord said, “It is finished,” on the cross, it shows us such a glorious salvation.
Such a salvation has urged the brethren throughout the generations to choose the cross. By nature, we all want to escape difficulty. By nature, we want to seek rest and peace.
But what is amazing is that we know what lies ahead is hardship and difficulty, yet we head in that direction. Literally, that is how the saints throughout the ages went ahead of us. Paul was one of them. We also should be one of those saints.
When we take a look at Paul, our brother shared with us how Paul departed from the law. Brothers and sisters, when our brother shared with us about the experience of Paul, we can see very clearly: How could Paul change in this way?
If it were not for the fact that Christ had become his life, how could Paul change?
Our brother shared only concerning the stage of Paul’s entering into salvation. He had not yet shared how Paul’s life was developed. But even that is enough to amaze us. How was Paul able to change so much?
We thank our Lord. Upon Paul, we are also able to see the fruit of the finished work of the cross, when the Lord said, “It is finished.”
But I want brothers and sisters to pay special attention: the fruit of this work is not only upon Paul himself, but likewise is to be manifested upon us as well.
When Paul shared with the children of God, he urged the Gentile churches that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.
Since there are so many difficulties and obstacles hindering us from entering, perhaps we may feel this is not a way at all. Yet this way leads us into God’s presence, to accept God as our all.
Why are there so many hindrances and obstacles in the way? Should there not be no hindrances at all in the way of God? Of course, this is another issue with the way of the cross, or another issue with the way of the Lord when His will is done on earth. We will not go into this topic.
But we ask one question: If the way is so difficult, why must we go on it?
We thank the Lord. Paul is one example, because the end and goal of this difficult way is to enter into the kingdom of God. It is according to the heart’s desire of God that we enter abundantly and richly into the kingdom of God.
If that is the way and the end result, if that is the goal, then I will not focus upon the way, but I will look at the goal itself.
Throughout Paul’s life, he had many difficulties and hardships. Brothers and sisters, even if we look at some of the difficulties recorded in 2 Corinthians, those hardships are already too much for us.
But that was only the condition of Paul’s journey with the Lord in the first half of his journey. When Paul shared with us all that he had encountered and all his sorrows, it was too much—just too many.
But after Paul had gone through so much, what did he share? What did he say to the children of God? He said, “Regardless of all these things, I only know one thing: I have already been crucified with Christ.”
Brothers and sisters, we all realize that the fact of crucifixion is not merely about pain. On the one hand, to be crucified with Christ concerns dying. But there is another side of the cross: resurrection.
Our brother also mentioned this this morning:
“I am crucified unto the world, and the world unto me.”
Brothers and sisters, pay attention to those two time frames in Galatians 2:20. One is, “I have been crucified with Christ.” The other time frame is, “Nevertheless I live.”
One is, “I have been crucified”; the other is, “Now I live.” The past tense—what is done—is by the Lord. The fact that I have been crucified is what is proclaimed by the Lord: “It is finished.”
Paul continues and says, “Now I live.” That is the present. Brothers and sisters, do you realize that this is the very fruit of the finished work of the cross manifested in Paul now?
We thank our Lord.
In Galatians 6, Paul says, “The world unto me hath been crucified, and I unto the world.” As the world looks upon me, I have been crucified. What does that mean? I am dead to the world. Likewise, the world is dead to me.
All the things of the world, whatever changes come, good or bad, have nothing to do with me, because my heart is not in any of the changes in this world.
Regardless of how others look at me, I only pay attention to one thing: I have to be brought to this position in reality, that I am a new creation.
So that the finished work of the Lord on the cross, when He said, “It is finished,” is also finished upon me.
Of course, the sense of what Paul had become is not comparable in the same degree to when our Lord says, “It is finished.” But we must see the fact that it is the finished work of the cross that allowed Paul to be brought before the Lord and to be a useful vessel in God’s hands.
Likewise, that is how we are to experience the finished work of the Lord on the cross.
This afternoon, we have asked a brother to share with us how he has experienced the work of the Lord in the daily lesson.
Again, I want to remind brothers and sisters: last year our focus was on individuals and the family. This year our focus is more primarily on career and our work.
May the Lord show us that regardless of what condition we are in, we are open within toward the Lord.
At any time, at any moment, in any place, the Lord will use His work to complete His purpose in us. We ask Brother Simon to share.
Good afternoon, brothers and sisters.
I thank God for giving me an opportunity here to share about His work. Of course, upon what I share, may brothers and sisters be able to see that this is what the Lord is saying:
“All things work together for good to them that love God.”
And this good is to conform all of us into the image of His own Son.
Because I am someone who is very stubborn, very hard, someone who does not submit to authority, and also at the same time lacks security, I always make plans for myself.
Therefore, the Lord has done His work upon me through my work and my career.
It was in my third year in college, when I was in Hong Kong, that I came to know the Lord. But even after I had believed in the Lord for a very long time, I used my own ways to live my life.
Even though at that time I had somewhat of an interest in the matters of the Lord, as I reflect on it now, I see that it was always motivated by self.
I shared that I am someone who does not like to submit to authority. I can give you an example. After I graduated from college, I worked for a Japanese company. It was a large Japanese trading company.
Brothers and sisters, you realize that in Japanese culture, they speak much about status and position. Therefore, such an environment was actually very good for me to learn to submit to authority. But I did not learn well.
At that time, all the management was sent over from Japan. The office in the company was like a classroom; nobody had his own space.
When I saw the Japanese people speaking before us in Japanese, knowing that we did not know how to speak Japanese, and speaking as if we were not there at all, I became very angry. I said, “I must learn Japanese well, so I will know what you are saying.”
So I did spend quite a few years learning Japanese. Now I can speak Japanese very fluently.
Ten years ago, my wife and I began to seek the Lord concerning whether He would lead us to the United States. Under the very clear guidance of the Lord, about eight and a half years ago, we moved from Hong Kong to the United States.
When I came, I said to myself, first I wanted to spend some time studying. I said to myself, “I already have ten years of experience in the trading business. I want to study business and get my MBA.”
The most technical major in the MBA program was finance, so I chose finance as my major. The school I attended was not a renowned school, so I had to take some examinations and courses that were recognized in the business world. I took the CFA examinations.
At that time, the computer field was very good, so I also majored in computer science. I spent two years and graduated with a 4.0 grade-point average—about two and a half years altogether.
Even before I graduated, I was actively looking for work. I wanted work related to finance. Although I went on several interviews, I was not successful.
In May, I had finished all my examinations, but in the following few months I was at home. I had no work at all.
At that time, my eldest son was born. I could not accept the fact that I was unemployed. I said before the Lord, “Lord, grant me a job.”
God then provided a job for me that was very far from my house. I am not a very good driver, so it took me over two and a half hours of driving daily.
That job was an internship. When I went, I discovered that it was a position for college students—a part-time position that college students would take after they graduated.
It was a job for a software company, very simple software testing. The software allowed users to go online from the television. If you knew how to look at a television, then you could do that job.
Later, I discovered that not only college students but even high school students were doing this position. The company paid hourly wages. I had no benefits at all. The only benefit was that I could have a meal for two dollars.
Each day, I would sit with younger people. We all did the same job. I believe I did not do a better job than they did. I knew that God was teaching me humility there.
After several months, the Lord gave me a job in software development. In this position, God taught me two lessons. The first was that I could not depend on my own energy or my own striving to do my job.
When I was trying to write a program and could not do it, I could spend much time and still not finish the program. But when I prayed and came to God in prayer, God would give me a thought and lead me to finish the program.
I worked for this company for four years. Throughout those four years, I was always under the possibility of being laid off.
I was in the technology department of the company. The project manager was the one who paid the wages. Our salary was based on the project management department. If you were not part of a project, then you would be laid off.
After the IT bubble burst, there were fewer and fewer projects to work on. Many existing projects also had to cut their budgets. So many times, when a project came to an end or they were required to cut their budget, many workers would naturally be laid off.
But God is faithful. Within these four years, God led me through four different projects. The lesson the Lord taught me was that I must trust in Him and not in myself.
Several years later, when I reflected and looked at the fact that many whom I had worked with were now gone, I saw God’s faithfulness. Before, there had been a company of over four hundred; now only about ten percent of the workers were left.
Later, the company decided to move our department to the East Coast. But they decided to leave about ten positions in San Francisco. At that particular time, fortunately, the position I was working in was one that they decided to retain in the Bay Area.
But later, there was a coworker who had very good relationships with upper management. This individual was a relative of upper management and also wanted to remain with the company.
Later, they changed my position. I discovered that they had exchanged positions between this individual and me so that this person could remain here and they could lay me off. I was very angry.
But when I submitted before God, God said to me:
“Vengeance is Mine; I will repay.”
Later, I thanked the Lord that I had an opportunity to speak with the decision-maker. I said to this individual, “I am someone who belongs to the Lord. God will bear my responsibility. He will prepare for me what is even better. Do not worry about me.”
In November, they told me that the following year, at the end of March, my job would come to an end. At that time, I had just bought a house, and my child was also due to be born in March.
Once again, I said to the Lord, “Fine, this is perfect timing. I can take care of my child at home.”
But God, through a brother whom I did not know, had prepared a job for me at a very large software company. This company was very far from my house, but I was able to take the train to work.
The problem with this company was that it was facing a takeover by an even larger company. The company that was going to take it over had said and boasted, “First of all, if I successfully take over this company, I am going to cut half of the workers.”
Therefore, the employees of the company I was going to work for were very unhappy with the takeover. The company was also in court over the battle of being taken over. Everyone believed that it would be a very long court battle.
So I went to work. On the first day I went to orientation, the director said to me, “A few hours ago, before the stock market opened in New York, our CEO said that we are going to accept this bid to take us over.”
I did not know what would happen after that. Everyone in the company was very anxious and did not know what was going to happen.
But thank the Lord, I was like a veteran soldier who had already gone through many battles. The Lord had already given me training through the possibility of layoffs four years earlier. I was able to peacefully calm many around me.
Of course, what was to happen did happen. After the merger of the two companies, out of fifty thousand employees, they were going to lay off ten percent—five thousand employees. They believed that most of those layoffs would be from our company.
But there was a benefit: whoever was laid off in this round would receive three months’ salary. I said to the Lord, “Thank the Lord. If I had remained in my old company, I would have received my salary only until the end of March.”
I questioned why they had told me in November that my job would end at the end of March. The reason was that, by giving me advance notice, they did not have to pay any severance pay.
But with the announcement from the new company, I would have three months’ severance pay. I calculated that I would actually be paid through the middle of April.
Then not only could I take care of my newborn, but I could also take care of my wife, who was pregnant.
This was the situation concerning the layoff at that time. No one in the company knew who would be laid off. Even the manager and the boss did not know, because they themselves could be candidates for layoff. Even my manager’s manager did not know.
The way they handled the layoff situation was this: every Friday you would go home, and on Saturday you would expect a special express delivery. Among the eleven thousand workers in our company, you might receive a letter of termination, or you might receive a contract stating that you would be rehired.
I thank the Lord. The Lord knows full well that I do not know how to take care of babies, and my wife also said that I do not know how to cook. So the letter I received was a renewal contract.
I know that it was God who helped place me in this company. Why would they use someone who was just a new hire? They also needed to train me first before I could work. Therefore, I knew that it was God who had placed me there.
After I have shared to this point, I have shared with you what took place before. From this point on, I will share with you what I am facing now.
I have always prayed to the Lord to help me share this very clearly. I also ask brothers and sisters to pray for me, because I am facing this issue daily. This matter has not come to an end yet.
Therefore, I can only use what I understand about this issue to share with brothers and sisters. Because the matter has not come to an end, if I share my understanding and some facts are out of place, may the Lord use His precious blood to cover me.
After the large layoff, there was restructuring in the company. Many left the company. For me, who was a new hire, when they gave me a certain job, I discovered that there was a large gap in the workflow.
But I thank the Lord that I found favor with my boss. My boss enabled me to receive the training and knowledge that I needed. He also sent me to much training.
But in the restructuring, my manager’s manager left. I heard that my manager was facing a great deal of pressure because he was moved to another department. The manager of that new department did not like my manager and gave him much pressure, trying to force him to leave.
But thank the Lord, I still found favor with my manager. He still gave me a very high evaluation for my work. But this April, he left.
After he left, his department was broken up. I was sent to report to another manager.
My particular job was somewhat repetitive with the work of some employees under this new manager. At the same time, the company decided to relocate this department somewhere else.
Therefore, there would be more people than positions. This new manager began to give me a lot of pressure. At the very beginning, he gave me the workload of two employees.
At the same time, he required that I report to him personally on the development of all the work he had given me three times a week: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
You might find it strange: if I report to him on Friday, why would I have to report to him again on Monday? But, of course, that meant that if I worked on Saturday, then I could report to him any new development on Monday.
My new manager is a young Asian person. Each time I met with him, it seemed as though he trampled upon all my self-confidence and self-esteem.
I said to the Lord, “Lord, perhaps when I graduated from college, this person was not even in high school yet.” But the Lord said to me, “You have to submit to those who are in authority. Even if they are strange, you have to submit as well.”
So one time I said to him, “All the issues you bring up are right. If you say I am wrong, you are also right.”
This particular manager has different requirements from my previous manager. I can give you an example. Before, my previous manager would send me to training, and I would go to the training and learn diligently.
But this new manager looked at it from another angle. “If you need to go to training, that means you are not good enough.” Therefore, no matter what I did, this new manager felt it was not good enough. No matter how I tried to handle the situation, it was still wrong.
So I said to this new manager, “All your critiques and all your evaluations are right.”
It seemed as though I was saying this to a Gentile manager, but I was saying this to my Lord.
We came to this conference on Wednesday. On Tuesday evening, my manager called me to say that he wanted to give me my 2005 performance review.
Actually, in 2005, he had been my manager for only two months. Therefore, his evaluation of me was based only on these two months, and it would override all the previous evaluations.
Therefore, my thought was that he wanted to use this as a way to terminate me. He gave me a very low evaluation, as though to tell me that if I continued to work under these conditions, I would surely be included in the next round of layoffs.
Therefore, I came to this conference with a very heavy heart. But I thank the Lord: He continued to provide comfort to me.
On the first day of registration, I encountered a sister I had not seen for years. The first question she asked me was, “How is your work?” I almost cried. I knew that it was God comforting me.
So I thank the Lord for speaking to me through the speakers. Brother Land shared last night that we have to give up our rights.
I thought about my rights. On Tuesday, my thought concerning my rights was that I could appeal this performance review. When he presented the review for me to sign, I would not sign it.
But the word says, “Give up your right.” So I committed everything to the Lord’s hand.
Since the Lord had kept me from being laid off throughout four years, even at the end, when I was to be laid off, He prepared a better job for me. Surely He will prepare something even better for me this time. Thank the Lord.
Except the Lord build the house,
They labor in vain that build it:
Except the Lord keep the city,
The watchman waketh but in vain.
Thank the Lord. May all the glory, honor, and dominion be given to the Father who sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb upon the throne.
I want to remind brothers and sisters of one thing. The brethren’s sharing is to express all the work of the Lord. May it be that this would be the last time this afternoon that there would be applause. Brothers and sisters need not clap.
We do not know whether the applause is for the brother who shares or for the Lord behind the brother. We thank God.
Upon God’s children, at times the Lord will place us in situations that are very smooth, because He allows us to learn and know that He is a God who is very willing to give grace, so that we would come to know that all His guidance is for our good.
But perhaps many times He allows us to encounter situations that are not pleasant.
Let us not first share merely how He supports us and guides us through these difficulties. I believe, brothers and sisters, we can easily see that in those difficult situations, our own nature comes forth. We can see our shortcomings before God.
Even though it is God’s support that brings us through, at the same time the Lord wants us to learn this lesson: it is not according to ourselves.
If we act according to ourselves, we may become angry or enter into conflict. But we have no condition and are not qualified at all to take care of the lesson which God desires us to learn.
What we must learn is how, before the Lord, we can depart from our own self. Then we will realize that the Lord Himself is the One who takes care of everything for us.
It is also according to God’s own will that He leads us to the mountains and through the valleys.
Of course, in our own nature, when we are high upon the mountains, we are very joyful. But when we are low in the valley, we are very angry.
But our Lord desires us to learn this lesson: it is not according to how we feel; it is not according to our own inclinations. In every circumstance, we learn to follow Him closely and to be very mindful of Him.
So that we would learn that God Himself bears our responsibility, and so that we can learn how to draw even closer to Him.
Perhaps our self-esteem can be trampled upon. Perhaps our self-confidence can be trodden down. But if such lowering and humility brings us into the Lord’s presence, we thank the Lord. Then we can see that the Lord is at work.
Perhaps, in what is before our view, we consider it somewhat of a loss. But in the Lord’s presence, we experience Him even more and gain Him even more, so that we would be even more willing and joyful to choose Him.
We thank our God. As to the world, I have been crucified.
Perhaps it might be, as Paul shared with us, that we are not deemed worthy in this world. But it is the Lord Himself who says to us, when we see Him, “The world says that you are not worthy, but I say that you are one who is meet for Me.”
Then I believe all tears will be dried, and our scars and injuries will be fully recovered and made whole.
Brothers and sisters, when we are living in this world, it is unavoidable that we will not have smooth sailing throughout all our days. But we must realize the reason we do not have smooth sailing all our days.
If we are not focused only on the external phenomenon, but can see the hand behind these external circumstances, then we will see what the Lord always desires us to see.
It is the hand at work behind all our circumstances to which we need to pay attention. We thank our Lord.
When we reflect and consider that our Lord said, “It is finished,” brothers and sisters, take note: if in the Father’s heart there had been any other way, He would not have allowed His Son to be on the cross. But God the Father willed to crush Him.
Then, brothers and sisters, we cannot escape the way of the cross. If we escape the way of the cross, we are running away from God’s building.
We want to be useful vessels in God’s hands, in order for Him to complete His eternal purpose. We must receive the lesson of the cross.
We are not willing to receive it, but may the Lord give us such a heart and desire that we are willing to receive it, because He has already placed within us the life that is willing to receive the cross.
It is not that our own nature is able. It is the life of the Lord within us that enables us to do so.