The song, which is sung Maranatha, originally had only three voices. The last verse was written by a brother in our local fellowship, whom the Lord took home a few years ago. It is a very appropriate verse with which to conclude Maranatha: “His feet shall touch Mount Olivet.”
We are very privileged to have Brother Stephen Kaung with us. This is his third year here at Pembroke, and we thank the Lord for his presence with us. He has consented to share a little from his heart this afternoon. I hope you all pay close attention.
Many of you have read the book you were required to read, Sit, Walk, Stand, and we discovered that many of you young people did not quite grasp the significance of our sitting, walking, and standing with the Lord. There was a request that our brother share from his personal experience: how he sits, how he walks, and how he stands with the Lord.
Many of you young ones also do not know the author of Sit, Walk, Stand. Who is this Watchman Nee? I think our brother will try to share a little about the life of this mighty instrument of the Lord to the church. So we will give our time to Brother Stephen.
First of all, I would like to thank the young brothers and sisters who invited me here. I always feel that I am not qualified to be here. Number one, I am too old; and number two, if this is my second childhood, I am too young. But anyway, I am really happy to be here with you, dear brothers and sisters. Yes, you make me feel younger, so you have already blessed me.
After I came here, I was asked about the writer of the book you were assigned to read, Sit, Walk, Stand. Having been a long associate of Watchman Nee, I would first like to share with you something about this brother.
You know, in every generation God raises up some people as His witnesses on this earth. Brother Watchman was one of those whom the Lord raised up in our century. He was born in 1903.
His parents were nominal Christians—and I hope you understand what I mean by nominal Christians. Brother Nee was probably the third generation in Christianity, but both of his parents were only nominal Christians. They were not saved.
Yet Mother Nee, whom I knew very well, knew about the gospel. In a sense, she treated me as her son, and she was very strict. After giving birth to two daughters, she was worried. In those old days in China, people always expected a son. She also had a sister-in-law who had four daughters in succession, so she was very much afraid that her third child would also be a daughter.
Although she did not know God personally, she prayed according to tradition. She asked God that if she conceived again and it was a son, she would offer him to God, just as Hannah prayed for Samuel. God answered her prayer, and when Watchman was born, he was a boy.
He was born in Shantou, in Guangdong Province, though his family origin was in Fuzhou, Fujian. When he was young, he was very brilliant. He studied in Fuzhou at Trinity College, which was run by Irish Anglican missionaries. His father had also employed a Chinese scholar to teach him and his sisters.
Being a boy, and rather naughty, whenever something happened at home, of course he was the suspect. He was often disciplined by his mother. Sometimes his sisters pitied him and tried to take the blame for him.
While he was in school, he was once president of the student union. He wrote articles for magazines, and when he received money, he invested it in lottery schemes, trying to make more money. He was very ambitious and had his whole future planned.
Then, in 1920, a lady evangelist came to his city: Dr. Dora Yu. She was a Chinese medical doctor. Strangely enough, the first two traveling evangelists in China were both medical doctors. One was Dr. Li Suqing, and the other was Dr. Dora Yu. She came to preach the gospel.
Mother Nee had known Dr. Yu when she herself had been a student in Shanghai. She attended a famous girls’ school there and hoped to go abroad for further study, but then she married. When Dr. Yu visited Fuzhou, Mother Nee attended the meetings.
Although Mother Nee was nominally Christian, she was not saved. She liked to play mah-jongg with her friends, and sometimes the pastor would come asking for contributions. She would take some of the money she had won playing mah-jongg and give it to the pastor. But when Dr. Dora Yu came, Mother Nee invited her mah-jongg friends to the meetings.
After hearing the gospel again from Dr. Yu, she was truly saved. The evangelistic campaign was open to everyone, especially the students. The students were encouraged to attend, but Brother Nee did not go.
One day, after she had been saved, Mother Nee felt that the family should have worship together. She gathered the family and went to the piano to play a hymn. But while she was trying to do this, she was deeply convicted in her heart that she owed an apology to her son.
At one time, a very valuable vase had been broken. Mother Nee assumed that Watchman had done it, and he was severely disciplined. But actually, he had not broken it. From that day on, Brother Nee hated his mother.
The Holy Spirit reminded Mother Nee that she needed to apologize to her son. This was something never done in China. Parents were always right, no matter what they did. But under the conviction of the Holy Spirit, Mother Nee went over, embraced her son, and asked for forgiveness.
Watchman was deeply touched, because this was never done in China. He felt that if Someone could change his mother, then that One was worth hearing. So when he was invited to hear Dr. Dora Yu, he went.
The first time he heard her, he was convicted. He knew he needed Jesus as his Savior, but he felt he could not accept Jesus as Savior because, if he did, he would have to surrender his life to Jesus and accept Him as Lord. He had his whole future planned, and this he could not do.
He struggled for a few days until one day, alone in his room, the love of Jesus touched him deeply. He saw the blackness of his sins and the redness of the blood of the Lord Jesus. He surrendered his life to the Lord.
So when our brother was saved, he not only accepted Jesus as his Savior, but he also surrendered his life to the Lord Jesus. After he was saved, he was really zealous for the Lord. He read his Bible everywhere, even taking it to class with him. Within a short period, he had read through the whole Bible.
Brother Nee began to preach to his fellow students. He would tackle them and reason with them, until, when his fellow students saw him coming, they would go the other way and say, “The preacher is coming.” But nobody was saved.
After a while, a missionary lady asked him, “Brother Nee, after you were saved, how many have you led to the Lord?” He answered, “None. I have done my duty. I preached to them, and if they did not receive it, that is their responsibility. I have done my part.”
The missionary asked, “Have you ever prayed for them?” He said, “Never.” He had tried to use his own reasoning to bring people to Christ, but he could not do it. The missionary told him, “You should pray for them before you preach to them.”
He listened to her and began to pray for his fellow students. He put their names in a book and prayed for them. Within a period of time, every one of them was saved—one by one.
In 1922, there was a revival in that school. They invited Ruth Lee, whom I knew personally. She had once been an atheist and had strongly opposed the Lord. When she was matron at a Christian high school, she had forbidden students to read the Bible and took their Bibles away. But God got hold of her, and she became a preacher instead.
Ruth Lee came to Fuzhou and preached to the students for only three days, but a revival began in that school. The best students in each class and the worst students in each class were saved.
Afterward, the students went out into the streets with gospel posters on their backs and fronts, preaching the gospel to the people. There was quite a revival. Those who came to hear the gospel were asked to bring their own chairs, because there were not enough chairs for them.
The Lord was really working in those days. As a matter of fact, the revival among the students in Fuzhou in 1922 was the result of the prayers of two ladies from England. One was Miss Barber. They came to Fuzhou, lived in a village, and preached the gospel among the villagers.
They felt that unless the Lord could get hold of some intelligent young people, the work in China would not be able to proceed. So they prayed that God would raise up a group of young, intelligent people for the gospel in China. It was through their prayers that this revival began in Fuzhou.
There was political disturbance in China during that time, and at one point the school was closed. Brother Nee went to Shanghai to be with Dr. Dora Yu, because she had a Bible school there. He tried to learn there, but after about half a year, Dr. Yu sent him back.
The reason given was that it was not convenient for him to remain there. But actually, Brother Nee had a habit of getting up very late, and he liked good food. He was not a disciplined person, and Dr. Yu thought he was hopeless and sent him back.
Even so, Brother Nee remained hopeful and was not disappointed. When the school reopened, he returned and continued. During vacations, the students went to the villages and preached the gospel.
When you read Sit, Walk, Stand, you find at the end a story about a village, about rain, and about a young man. The book calls him Brother Wu, but actually he was not Brother Wu. He was Brother Lee. I knew him personally. He was a very naughty young man, and that was why his mother sent him to Brother Nee and asked him to help.
These students were on fire for the Lord. Others joined them, including two naval men who left the navy. Leland Wang, well known in this country, was called the Moody of China. Another great teacher also joined them. I knew all of them personally.
Their burden was to preach the gospel. Whenever they were free, they went to different places and preached.
During that time, Brother Nee became convinced that he should be baptized. He had belonged to the Methodists and had been sprinkled as an infant. But through reading and studying the Bible, he felt that the Bible taught believers’ baptism: “Believe and be baptized.”
One day, he told his mother that he was going to visit Miss Barber. His mother asked why, and he answered, “I want to be baptized.” She said, “I had the same thought. I want to be baptized.” So they went together and were baptized.
Afterward, through searching the Scriptures, Brother Nee felt that believers should break bread to remember the Lord. In the Methodist church where I was raised, we had Holy Communion only once a month. But Brother Nee felt that we should remember the Lord as often as possible, in a simple way—not as ritual or ceremony, but truly remembering the Lord.
For the first time, Brother Nee and his mother, Leland Wang and his wife—four of them—met together in Leland’s home and began to break bread in remembrance of the Lord, simply to show their love for Him.
Gradually, Brother Nee began to feel that there was something more than preaching the gospel and getting people saved. Of course, that is important. But after people are saved, then what? Do you just leave them there and wait until they die and go to heaven? Is there not something more that needs to be done?
Through reading the Bible, he became convinced that the Lord wanted to gather these people together and build them up together. That is what the Lord wants.
The Great Commission in Matthew 28 says:
Go therefore, and make disciples of all the nations,
baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit;
teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I commanded you:
and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.
Brother Nee had the burden not merely to get people saved, but to build them together as a testimony to the Lord Jesus.
At that time, about seven brothers were working together. Some were students; one, as I mentioned, had been a naval officer and had resigned in order to preach the gospel. They were all young men, serving together and zealous for the Lord.
But being young, they were not well disciplined by the Lord. They often had arguments among themselves. Brother Nee especially argued with one brother who was five years older than he was, a naval man. Brother Nee felt that this brother was unreasonable and that what he said was right.
Usually, at the weekend, Brother Nee would go to Miss Barber and complain about that brother. But Miss Barber always said, “You have to submit to that brother, because he is older.” Brother Nee could not take it and often returned greatly discouraged.
On one occasion, there was a baptism. Brother Nee felt that most of the people to be baptized had been saved through his instrumentality. But the other brother said that he would baptize them. Brother Nee felt very badly about this and went again to Miss Barber.
He felt that because these people had been saved through him, he should be the one to baptize them. Yet Miss Barber told him again, “You must obey. You must submit yourself and let that brother baptize these people.” He was frustrated and thought, “It is because I am five years younger that I have to obey. But I am right.”
During those years, Brother Nee learned to bear the cross. He later told us that because he learned these lessons, he was able to co-work with so many brothers and sisters. Otherwise, he would have been very independent, very sure of himself, and individualistic.
He learned precious lessons. Even when he might have been right, he learned to submit. I knew these things because I heard him himself say them.
At one time, while Brother Nee was out preaching, his fellow workers excommunicated him. They did not agree with what he felt concerning the church and the need to be built up together. They thought all that was needed was to preach the gospel, and nothing more.
When Brother Nee began to share with the brothers and sisters that they needed to be built together, they disagreed. When he returned, he found that he had been excommunicated. Some of the younger brothers wanted to defend him. They felt it was wrong, and they wanted to beat the brother who had excommunicated him.
But Brother Nee used his own body to protect that brother and said, “No, do not do that.” He himself withdrew. Again, he learned not to defend himself, but to accept the cross and learn its lessons. He was only in his twenties at that time, very young.
Brother Nee then withdrew to a secluded place and began publishing a magazine. He also traveled and preached the gospel wherever he was invited, and many people were saved.
During that period, after he had graduated, he labored very hard for the Lord. Life was difficult because he believed that one who served the Lord should live by faith. That is, he would not ask anyone for financial help—not even his parents—but would look only to the Lord for his living.
Because of this, he suffered greatly. He spent himself in such a way that he contracted tuberculosis. This was during 1925 and 1926. He was very sick. I was told that sometimes, when he wanted to go somewhere, he could only walk a short distance before resting himself against an electric pole, and then continuing.
Yet he faithfully served the Lord. During that period, while he was home in Fuzhou, he met one of his former professors. The professor looked at him, shook his head, and said, “We had great hope for you, and look what you have become today.”
At first, that touched him. He knew it was true. He had been an ambitious and capable young man. He could have been successful in any field. But now his health had broken down, he had no future in the world’s eyes, and he was despised.
But then the Lord showed him: He is worth it. The Lord is worthy of it.
It was during that period, though he had been saved less than ten years, that he wrote The Spiritual Man. He was saved in 1920, and he felt that this book was his dying gift to the church. He wanted to leave with the church what the Lord had taught him during those few years.
He wrote the three-volume book The Spiritual Man. He was so weak that he could not sit up. He had to use a board to support himself as he wrote. He was under attack from the enemy, but thank God, he finished the book. He thought that, having completed it, he was ready to go.
But the Lord wonderfully raised him up. He had been in bed for more than 190 days. He was so sick that one sister, who was a nurse, said she had never seen anyone so sick. The brothers and sisters felt that he was dying, and he himself prepared for death. He dealt with everything he felt needed to be dealt with and simply waited for the call.
One day, several brothers and sisters came to his room and prayed with him. He listened carefully, hoping that some prayer might really touch the Lord and touch heaven, bringing restoration. People had to whisper to him because he was so weak. He listened to one prayer after another, but nothing touched him.
Then a sister, who was not known as a praying warrior, quoted the Scripture:
For in death there is no remembrance of Thee:
in Sheol who shall give Thee thanks?
That touched him. After the brothers and sisters left, he remained in bed looking to the Lord. Then the word came to him: “We live by faith.” He immediately knew that he would live.
He felt that he should get up. He had not gotten out of bed for more than 190 days, but he put on his clothes and rose. Then he felt that he should stand. He said, “How can I stand?” The word came to him again: “We stand by faith.”
So he stood up. He told us that when he stood, he felt as though he were standing on cotton—everything was so soft beneath him. But thank God, he stood.
Then he felt he should walk. “How can I walk?” he said. “I cannot walk.” But the word came again: “Walk by faith.” So he walked across the room.
He looked at the stairway. In China, the stairs were very steep. He felt that he had to go down, but he said, “I cannot do it.” Again the word came: “Walk by faith.”
He went down the stairs and crossed the lane. This was on Hardoon Road. Across the lane, in one of the houses, brothers and sisters were praying. He knocked on the door, and when they opened it and saw him walk in, they were astonished.
They all stood there. Nobody spoke for half an hour. Then Brother Nee gave his testimony. He was completely healed of tuberculosis.
Before this, he had gone to a German doctor for an X-ray. The doctor had done a very unprofessional thing. He showed Brother Nee his own X-ray alongside another patient’s X-ray and asked which one was better. Of course, the other patient’s was better—yet that patient died within a few days. The doctor told Brother Nee, “Do not come back again.”
Later, when the doctor died, Brother Nee went to the sale of his belongings and bought something as a reminder of what had happened. Brother Nee was completely healed of tuberculosis and never had it again throughout his life.
Later, he had heart trouble. His heart was enlarged to double its size. Many nights he had to sit through the night. Many times he was agonizing in bed, but when the time for a meeting came, he would get up, preach for one or two hours, and then return to bed. That was the way he served the Lord.
I knew him when I was in high school. Let me tell you a little more of his story, because I think it will help you.
He grew up with the children of a neighboring family, the Chang family. The two families were close friends. The Chang family had several girls, and one was called Charity. Watchman and Charity grew up together, loved each other, and had a kind of private understanding that when they became older they would marry.
After Brother Nee was saved, he tried to preach the gospel to Charity. He could talk with her about anything, but whenever he tried to tell her about the gospel, she would not listen. She refused to accept the Lord.
This became a real problem for our brother. He was a believer, but his sweetheart refused to receive the Lord. What should he do?
One day, while preparing to preach, he wanted to use Psalm 73:25:
Whom have I in heaven but Thee?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides Thee.
As he prepared the message, he felt that he could not honestly say it. “Whom have I in heaven but Thee?” he could say. But he could not say that he desired nothing on earth besides the Lord, because he had Charity. He wanted her and could not give her up.
He struggled over this matter. The Holy Spirit convicted him, and he could not get over it. Until one day, the love of Christ again constrained him. He felt that he had to give her up in order to follow the Lord.
So he decided to end his relationship with Charity and set his heart completely toward the Lord. When he did this, he told us that he changed his clothes, put on old clothes, took some gospel posters and paste, and went into the streets to put up the posters. It was his way of saying goodbye to the world and to everything in the world.
It was at that time that he wrote a hymn. But anyway, you find that following the Lord is the narrow way. It does cost you. It costs you everything.
The Lord said:
If any man would come after Me,
let him deny himself,
and take up his cross,
and follow Me.
Our brother really gave up everything. His motto was: “I want everything for the Lord. I want nothing for myself.”
In 1952, he was taken by the Communist government in China. He was in prison for twenty years, and he died in 1972 in a labor camp.
That is the writer of the book Sit, Walk, Stand. He gave these messages in Europe in 1938 and 1939, when he went to England, Denmark, Finland, and other countries. He gave the messages later published as The Normal Christian Life, which has become a classic, and he also gave the messages on Sit, Walk, Stand.
Young brothers and sisters, the book you have in your hands was not theory to our brother. It came not only from study, but from blood. He gave his life to the Lord, and out of that life came these messages: Sit, Walk, Stand.
I hope that, knowing this story, you will reread that book—not as theory, but as something personally experienced by someone who knew the mighty grace and power of God. It is real, and it is something we all must experience.
In the book Sit, Walk, Stand, you find that it really sums up our whole Christian life:
It is very true that unless you learn to sit, you will not be able to walk or to stand. But at the same time, it is not that you sit for a while, walk for a while, and stand for a while. Sit, walk, and stand cannot be separated.
You are always sitting—sitting in Christ. That is your position. If you are not sitting in Christ, you will fall. You cannot walk, and you are not able to stand. Throughout your Christian life, you have to sit in Christ.
This does not mean that you merely sit there and do nothing, passively, as though you were sitting in a comfortable chair. No. You are sitting in Christ, seated with Him in the heavenlies.
You sit because He has done all for you. What you cannot do for yourself, He has done for you. Therefore, you sit in the finished work of Christ.
When you walk, you do not walk by yourself. The Bible says that you walk in Him; you walk with Him. It is His life in you that walks.
If you try to walk by yourself, you will fall. But if you walk by the life of Christ in you, then you are able to reach the goal. It is Christ; it is not you.
The same is true of standing. You are not merely standing by yourself. If you just stand there, the enemy will come and knock you down. But you are standing in Christ.
You stand in His power and in His name. His name is above every name, and at that name every knee must bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. That is where you stand.
So, brothers and sisters, remember: it is all in Christ. Whether you sit, walk, or stand, it is Christ—not you. It is Christ. Christ is all. Christ is everything.
Learn to sit in Him, walk in Him, and stand in Him. That is the Christian life, and our brother has already demonstrated it in his own life.
Finally, the brothers asked me also to bear some testimony to the truth of this book. I have to say that it is all the mercy and grace of God.
So far as sitting is concerned, when I was seeking salvation, I was working for salvation. Even though I came from a Christian family, I was working.
My father loved the Lord very much. We had family devotions every evening. I read the Bible, prayed, and went to church. I was baptized as an infant.
At that time I studied in a mission school. On Sundays, we had to march to church and attend the service. If you did not do it, you would receive a serious mark against you, and if you had two such marks, you might be expelled.
So all the students marched into the church building and sat there, but we were not listening, including myself. We used a huge hymnbook, opened it, and behind it read novels. I did the same, while my father was preaching.
But when I was fourteen, I became very sick. I was dying. Being a young man, of course I did not want to die. So I cried to God. I did not know Him personally; I knew Him only by name and tradition.
My father and the missionaries probably prayed for me. After several months, I came back to life. I had a natural concept: because I was from a Christian family, I thought God had raised me from the dead, and therefore I should do something to show my gratitude.
That was how it began. I was not sitting at all; I was doing, I was working. When school reopened, another student and I organized Christian activities. We held prayer meetings and preaching meetings. I led prayer meetings before I was saved, and I preached before I was saved.
When I led a prayer meeting, I went to my father’s library and found a book about prayer and how God answers prayer. I memorized it and told my fellow students how God answered prayer. Then I asked everyone to kneel down and pray, but nobody prayed. Suddenly, someone began to laugh, and I scolded him. I said, “This is serious before God. You cannot do that.”
I preached too. I still remember my first sermon. It was a borrowed sermon, preached by a famous American preacher, Jowett. I found the book in my father’s library, translated it into Chinese, and memorized it. It was called “Noah’s Ark.”
After school one Friday, I preached it to my fellow students. When I finished, I felt good about it. The only thing I regretted was that nobody praised me.
So I was not sitting; I was working—working for my salvation. But strangely, while I was working and thought that I was serving God, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sins.
I had always felt that I was fairly good. I was not a bad student. I was good with my fellow students, the school servants, and my professors. I knew the gospel, but I thought it was for sinners, not for me.
But while I was trying to serve God, the Holy Spirit convicted me. Nobody pointed a finger at me. Nobody preached at me. The Holy Spirit convicted me. I began to feel that my whole being was corrupted.
Even though I was young, sometimes I sat alone and wept. During that year, I sought very earnestly to know how to be saved. I knew the gospel, but somehow it did not register or work in my life. I felt guilty all over. I felt a heavy load of sin upon me.
But thank God, in 1930, one afternoon, the Lord had mercy on me.
After a large meeting, a preacher and I were alone. He pointedly asked me, “Are you saved?” I said, “I hope I will be saved.” He stopped me and asked, “Do you believe the Bible?” I said, “From childhood, I have believed that it is the Word of God.”
He opened the Bible to 1 John 1:9:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous
to forgive us our sins,
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
He asked, “Do you believe this word?” I said, “Of course I do.” He said, “Put your name in it and read it.” So I put my name into the verse and read it twice. Then he said, “Let us pray.”
I knelt down and began to pray. I told the Lord, “Lord, I have sinned greatly,” and I tried to tell Him everything I could remember. I said, “Lord, there are many sins I have forgotten, but You know.”
When I finished praying, something was different in my heart. I said, “Lord, now I have done my part. Now it is up to You. You are faithful and righteous. You promised to forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. That is Your work. I have done my part. Now I believe in You.”
“Life or death is Your responsibility; it is not mine anymore.” In my heart, I felt as though I said, “If I die, I die on Your promise. It is Your responsibility, because I believe Your Word.”
After I finished praying and stood up, I knew that God had saved me. The preacher asked, “Are you saved?” I said, “I am saved.” He asked, “How do you know?”
I said, “I have such peace in my heart. The burden of a whole year is gone.” He said, “No.” Isn’t that a surprise?
Immediately—I believe it was the Holy Spirit—He reminded me. I told the preacher, “I know I am saved because God says so.” He said, “Right. Your emotions may change, but God’s Word never changes.”
Thank God for that. God is faithful to His Word. The preacher told me, “Go out and immediately tell somebody what God has done for you.” So I did it the first day. I think that is a good practice.
I went back to my room and opened the Bible. It was 2 Peter 1. I read it, and it was a new book. My whole life was changed. My whole future was changed. The Lord did it all; I did nothing.
We are saved by grace through faith. It is the finished work of Christ on the cross, and you simply sit in it. When you are sitting in it, God blesses you.
Brothers and sisters, this is not only once in your lifetime. This sitting continues throughout your life. The more you sit and rest in the finished work of Christ, the more you find how rich, abundant, and all-inclusive that finished work is.
When Christ said, “It is finished,” that finished work was tremendous. Not only are your sins forgiven, but even the power of sin is finished. You are finished. I am finished. The whole world is finished. Everything that is not of God is finished.
He has done it all. You simply sit there and enjoy what He has done. Young brothers and sisters, that is the Christian life. You do not need to struggle and strive. You simply rest in the finished work of Christ.
That is enough concerning sitting, because the brothers asked me to speak about walking too. After you believe in the Lord Jesus, you have to walk. That is true. The Lord said, “Come and follow Me.”
Let me use a few examples. Even though I was a Christian, there was one thing I loved very much: movies. The first thing I looked for in a newspaper was the movie page.
At that time in Shanghai, I could go to a new movie without paying anything, because tickets were given to me. I had a friend whose father owned a movie theater, so we could go and see movies without paying.
Strangely, I dared not go to see a movie on Sunday. That was tradition. On Sunday, you could not do that. In all my life, I remember only one Sunday when I could not overcome the temptation. But on Saturdays, I was usually in a movie theater.
After I was saved, I still went to movies. But then my conscience began to bother me. Should I go? Is it right for a Christian to walk into a movie theater and support those movie stars?
It bothered me, but I loved movies. So I argued with God: “It is all right—good movies, not all movies, good movies, religious movies.” But privately I determined that I would not go to a theater anymore. I dared not tell anybody because I was afraid I might break my promise.
For four months, I was able not to step into a movie theater. Oh, I felt very proud of myself. Then temptation came. A religious movie came, and a ticket was given to me.
I argued, “Should I go? It is a religious movie. What is wrong with a religious movie?” So I went. All my four months of effort were finished.
I still remember vividly stepping into that theater. For two hours I was sitting there. Outwardly I was looking, but inwardly I was hoping it would end quickly. I wanted to get out.
That was the last time I stepped into a movie theater to see a movie. Well, I went to theaters to preach the gospel, yes—but never again to see a movie.
You have to walk worthy of your calling.
Let me give you another illustration. After the Lord saved me by His grace, I offered myself to the Lord.
At that time, we did not know what consecration really meant. We thought consecration meant consecrating yourself to become a preacher. We did not know that every believer should present his or her body as a living sacrifice to the Lord.
That is to say, no one constrained by the love of Christ can live for himself or herself. We give ourselves to Him, live for Him, and live by Him. That is consecration.
But at that time, we were ignorant. During the summer conference when I was saved, the preachers said, “Now you are saved. If you want to serve God, offer yourself to be a preacher, a missionary, and so forth.”
There was a big map of China at the back of the platform, and they said that you could come up and choose the place you wanted to go. Being only fifteen years old and newly saved, I was full of zeal. I thought, “I will go to the most difficult and furthest place to prove my love for the Lord.”
So I marched up to the platform and put my finger on Mongolia. But thank God, I have never been to Mongolia.
That was the way we tried, in ourselves, to show God our love. But thank God, He changed my course.
When I was in college, the Lord began to open His purpose and His will to me. As God’s children, we need to know God’s purpose. What is God’s purpose? What does God really want? Why did He create us in the first place? Why did He save me? What is the reason behind it? Is there a purpose there? How should I respond?
These things began to open up, and they created a real problem for me. I can only describe to you how I felt. At that time, I was in my second or third year of college. I felt like a person with his two feet on two boats, and the two boats were drifting apart.
One foot was on one boat and one foot on the other. The boats were gradually separating, and eventually I would be drowned. That was my feeling.
On the one hand, the religious world had a hold on me and on my future. On the other hand was the Lord and His purpose. I struggled very hard over where I should go and where I should stand.
I could not stand with one foot in the world and another foot in Christ. If I did, eventually I would be drowned.
During that time, I heard a message given by a servant of the Lord from Luke 14. The Lord Jesus turned to the multitude and said:
If any man cometh unto Me, and hateth not his own father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters,
yea, and his own life also,
he cannot be My disciple.Whosoever doth not bear his own cross, and come after Me,
cannot be My disciple.So therefore whosoever he be of you that renounceth not all that he hath,
he cannot be My disciple.
The Lord also spoke of counting the cost before building a tower. If you lay a foundation and are unable to finish, people will laugh at you. He spoke also of a king considering whether, with ten thousand soldiers, he could meet another king coming with twenty thousand. If not, he should ask for peace.
The message was: Count the cost.
That day, after hearing the message, I sat before the Lord and began to count the cost. Then the enemy began to work. We have an enemy. You do not see him, but he is there, trying to get you away from the Lord.
He tries to trap you and capture you, so that the will of God will not be done in your life.
As I sat there counting the cost, the enemy began to put into my mind every imaginable cost. I would be dismissed from college—no education. I would be driven from my home—no home. I would lose everything on this earth.
So I told the Lord, “It is too costly. It is too much. I cannot do it.”
Then the Lord came to me. Whether in the body or out of the body, I do not know. He came to me, showing me His bleeding hands. He said, “I did all this for you. What will you do for Me?”
I said, “Lord, everything—my blood, my life, everything—is Yours.”
But even though I promised the Lord, it took three days of struggling. I could not sleep at night. I went to classes but did not hear a word. I was struggling: where should I stand?
Should I stand with the Lord, where there would be persecution, suffering, and no future in the world’s eyes? Or should I stand with the religious world, where there was a future?
But the Lord helped me. He would not let me go. He told me that I had promised, and I could not go back. I had to hold the ground and stand against the enemy.
Thank God, by His grace—not by me. I could not do it. His love is so great, and His grace is so sufficient, that He brought me through.
By the grace of God, I stand in Him and with Him against His enemy, my enemy.
The Bible says:
Be strong in the Lord,
and in the strength of His might.
Withstand the enemy.
To stand means to carry through and execute the purpose of God in your life, in spite of opposition.
Brothers and sisters, it is all by grace. It is all Christ. It is none of our doing. All we do is put ourselves in His hand, and He will do it.
So, brothers and sisters, this matter of sit, walk, and stand is very real. It is not something you can play with. You have to be serious about it.
These things happened to me when I was about your age. If we do not learn these lessons when we are young, when we grow old we will not be able to learn new lessons. So may the Lord help us.
Gracious Lord, merciful God, You are full of love, full of grace, full of mercy. We bow before You. What can we do but surrender ourselves to You?
May Thy will be done in each of our lives, as it is in heaven. May Thy name be hallowed. May Thy kingdom come.
In the name of our Lord Jesus. Amen.