I’d like to welcome everybody who’s here. Glad that you’re here.
Acts Chapter 9. We’re looking at the life of Paul, and what we’re talking about together is the calling of God. It is very miraculous, in a sense, for us to realize that God talks. But in fact, that’s what it means to be called: God talks.
We studied yesterday about how Paul was not a Christian. In fact, he was trying to persecute Christians when God struck him down on the road and said, “This is the wrong road, Paul.”
According to Acts 9:4, Paul heard the voice of God saying:
Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou Me?
When Paul heard this voice from heaven—Saul and Paul are the same person, so I keep using either name—it stopped him dead in his tracks. He thought to himself, “Wait a minute. I thought I was persecuting Christians. Now, who is this voice from heaven telling me that I was persecuting Him?”
So he said, “Who are You, Lord?” And He said, “I am Jesus.” “I am God, and I am Jesus, and I am talking from heaven. And I am telling you, you are on the wrong track.”
At that point, Paul said, “Well now, Lord, I guess I am on the wrong track. But now, what am I supposed to do?”
The Lord said, “Go to Damascus, and I will tell you what to do next.”
Paul went to Damascus, having heard the call of God. We spoke about that last night as being the same as when we are going down whatever road we are going down in our lives, at whatever age, and we hear God calling us to salvation.
Jesus says, “Joe, Joe, you are going on the wrong track.” The Lord Jesus says, “Dana, Dana, you are doing the wrong thing. You need to turn and come to Me.”
Just as Paul experienced salvation on the road to Damascus when he said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” so we also experience salvation when we say, “Lord Jesus, take over my life. Tell me what to do. Be my Lord.”
This was the first aspect of the call that Paul heard in his life. But no sooner did he hear that call than he went to Damascus, waited, prayed for three days, and fasted. He did not eat; he just prayed and prayed for three days.
God spoke to a man named Ananias. He said, “Ananias, go over to that house where Paul is staying. Go in there, place your hands on Paul, and pray for him so that he can get his sight back.”
If you will remember, in Acts 9:15, the Lord says to Ananias:
Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto Me,
to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings,
and the children of Israel:
for I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.
Ananias went, laid hands on Paul, and said, “Paul, Jesus sent me here to pray for you so that you can get your sight back and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”
Paul was filled with the Holy Spirit right then. God gave his eyesight back. It is amazing: he arose, he was baptized in Acts 9:18, and in Acts 9:19 he took food and was strengthened.
Then it says in Acts 9:19 that for several days he was with the disciples who were at Damascus. In Acts 9:20, immediately he began to preach Jesus in the synagogue, saying, “He is the Son of God.”
Just the week before, Paul had been preaching, “Anybody who follows Jesus needs to be thrown in jail.” Now Paul went to the synagogue and preached, “Jesus is the Son of God.” Needless to say, it caused confusion.
Acts 9:21 says:
And all that heard him were amazed, and said,
Is not this he that in Jerusalem made havoc of them which called on this name?
and he had come hither for this intent,
that he might bring them bound before the chief priests?
But Saul kept increasing in strength and confounding the Jews who lived at Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Christ.
The way he did it was by going into the Old Testament and showing them: “You see that in Isaiah? Did you know that was about Jesus? Did you know the Bible said the man who was going to be the Messiah was going to be born in Bethlehem?” Everybody said, “Gee, we did not know that.” He said, “Here it is. You know where Jesus was born?” That is what happened.
As he kept reading the Old Testament Scriptures, he was proving to these people that Jesus was the Messiah.
Paul, when he was called by God to salvation, was also immediately called to minister in the synagogue that Jesus was the Son of God. In other words, not only did he feel called to be saved, but he felt that he should preach that Jesus was the Son of God, and he immediately began.
Then Acts 9:23 says something that may be a little surprising:
And when many days were fulfilled,
the Jews took counsel together to kill him.
The plot became known to Saul, and they were also watching the gates day and night so that they might put him to death.
But his disciples took him by night,
and let him down through the wall,
lowering him in a basket.
Paul kept preaching. He kept getting these people stirred up and saying, “Look, Jesus is the Son of God.” Finally, they said, “Boy, we are going to do away with him.”
Some of the disciples lowered Paul down out of a window outside the wall. The wall of the city was just like this here. They had to take a rope and lower him down in a basket so that he could escape without being killed.
But you see, Paul really was preaching. He had them stirred up like a hornet’s nest. He loved Jesus, and he wanted to teach, and he was going at it full tilt.
The result was not what he expected. I suppose he expected to really start preaching away, but it ended up that he got lowered down in a basket. After Paul got out there on the other side of the wall, he was probably discouraged.
Here he was, doing what he thought he should do, and he ended up getting lowered down in a basket. What happened to Paul after that?
There is a lot of discussion about the sequence of events, but I am going to show you what I believe happened after he got out of Damascus, after his first debut as a preacher had been wiped out.
In Galatians Chapter 1, we pick up a little bit of biography about what Paul did.
Paul says in Galatians 1:15-17:
But when it was the good pleasure of God,
Who separated me, even from my mother’s womb,
and called me through His grace,
to reveal His Son in me,
that I might preach Him among the Gentiles;
straightway I conferred not with flesh and blood:
neither went I up to Jerusalem to them that were apostles before me:
but I went away into Arabia;
and again I returned unto Damascus.
You notice in verse 17 that sometime soon after Paul was converted, he went out to Arabia. Most people think he went out into the desert, and he spent a period of time there.
Then it says, “Three years later, I went up to Jerusalem.” There were three years between the time Paul was saved in Damascus and the time he finally went down to Jerusalem to talk to the apostles.
What happened during those three years? First, Acts says he stayed in Damascus for quite a while, and then he was kicked out and lowered down in the basket. Second, he went through Arabia, out into the desert, out into some lonely place. It is not exactly stated.
For some period of that three years, he probably went out to the desert to be alone, to get things sorted out. Now, this seems very strange: a man with Paul’s ability was saved by Jesus, but instead of letting him go right out and start preaching, after a short period of time Paul found himself going out into the desert.
Instead of being the great preacher, Paul was out in the desert alone. Why would God lead Paul out into the desert?
Certainly, Paul wanted to preach Jesus. He was willing to sacrifice his life. But God felt he needed to go out into the desert for a while. Maybe for as much as two years, he spent time in the desert.
That does not mean he went out with a backpack and stayed out there eating cactus. But it does mean he probably went out to places where he could be basically alone. He did not go out preaching and ministering; he went out where he could be alone in some sort of way.
Why would God lead him out into the desert? I want to talk tonight about why God leads us as Christians sometimes out into the desert.
The first reason God called Paul out into the desert is that, although Paul was working for Christ, preaching Christ, and proving from the Old Testament who Christ was, Paul still had to get to know Jesus much, much more.
It is interesting how people, when they have a real salvation experience—a real strong experience—immediately want to go and preach about it everywhere they go. “Oh, I just have to tell people that Jesus saved me!” They are always trying to run off, and Jesus is sometimes saying, “Hold it, hold it, hold it. First, get to know Me a little bit more.”
The first reason I feel Paul went out into the wilderness was to get to know Jesus.
Turn to Mark Chapter 3. When Jesus called His disciples—Simon, Andrew, James, John, Matthew, these men—Mark 3:14 says:
And He appointed twelve,
that they might be with Him,
and that He might send them forth to preach,
and to have authority to cast out demons.
When He appointed the twelve apostles, you can imagine the apostles saying, “Okay, let’s go to work. Come on. We have seen what You can do; now let’s go.”
It says that Jesus appointed them in order to send them out to preach and do great things. But the first thing it says is that He appointed them that they might be with Him.
Jesus said, “No, no, no, Peter. Stop running off and preaching all the time. I want you to watch Me first. I want you to get to know how I do things. I want you to see why I preach the way I do. I want you to see why I love some people and why I rebuke other people.”
“I want you to see who it is that I touch and heal. I want you to see who I do not pray for. I want you to watch, to be with Me, to get to know Me.”
“I want you twelve men not just to come occasionally when I speak. I want you to live with Me. I want you to eat with Me. I want you to travel with Me. I want you to share the problems with Me. I want you to get to know Me.”
Brothers and sisters, that is one of the greatest lacks that we have among Christians. There are different levels of knowing the Lord.
Let me ask you a question. Paul was a very brilliant man, and I know that Jesus spoke to him on the road to Damascus. But how much did Paul really know Jesus?
He had heard some stories about Him, undoubtedly. He knew about Jesus, but how much did he know Jesus? Well, he had heard Jesus speak. I tell you what, that is better than a lot of people: he had actually heard Jesus’ voice speaking. But how much did he really know?
Maybe Paul felt like, “Oh, now I have heard Jesus. Now I know Him. I am going out to speak for Him.” But Jesus said, “Wait a minute, wait a minute. I want you to get to know Me a lot better than you do right now. Let’s go out in the desert and talk. Let’s get to know one another.”
Paul wrote several years later in 1 Corinthians 1:9:
God is faithful,
through Whom ye were called
into the fellowship of His Son Jesus Christ our Lord.
Paul says from experience, “God is faithful.” Through Whom were you called? To go out and preach? No, it does not say that. God is faithful, through Whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ.
“Oh, but I know Jesus already. Besides, the night is coming when no man can work. I have to go out and hand out tracts. I have to witness right now, because Jesus might come back tomorrow.”
Jesus says, “Now hold on, Paul. I want you to get to know Me.”
Turn to Acts Chapter 22. Here Paul is again telling about his salvation experience on the road to Damascus, and we find out more about what Ananias told him.
Acts 22:13-15 says:
And one Ananias, a devout man according to the law,
well reported of by all the Jews that dwelt there,
came unto me, and standing by me said unto me,
Brother Saul, receive thy sight.
And in that very hour I looked upon him.
Then Ananias said:
The God of our fathers hath appointed thee to know His will,
and to see the Righteous One,
and to hear a voice from His mouth.
For thou shalt be a witness for Him unto all men
of what thou hast seen and heard.
Paul had already heard Jesus say, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” But Ananias said, “Paul, I want you to know Him. The God of our fathers has appointed you to know His will.”
How are you going to find out His will? Well, God had a little plan. He did not tell Paul what the plan was, because Paul probably would have said no. But the plan was the desert.
“You are going to find out My will. You are also going to see the Righteous One.” I do not mean you are merely going to hear stories about how Jesus walked. Somehow, through spiritual vision, you are going to see Jesus.
Paul may never have seen Jesus the man in His earthly life, but Paul saw Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
It says, “You are going to hear an utterance from His mouth.” Paul says, “When am I going to hear the utterance?” God says, “I will get you in the desert, and I will start speaking.”
Paul was such a great minister because he spoke about what he saw and heard. He was not making up fairy tales. He said, “Jesus is righteous.” How could he say that? Because he saw it one day in a vision. He fell down on the ground and said, “Oh, the light is too much. I cannot take so much righteousness.”
Whenever Paul said Jesus is righteous, he knew what he was talking about because he had been down on the ground, crushed by the light. Paul knew.
Paul went around telling people what he had seen and heard because he spent time in the desert. When he spent time in the desert, he spent time with Jesus. He got to know Him.
The desert can be a beautiful spot if it is a place where we get to know Jesus.
Brothers and sisters, I know that most of you know the Lord, but how much do you really know Him? So much is going to depend in the future on how well you know Jesus.
Let me ask you a question. When cults come around, how do you know they are not right? I will tell you how. Sometimes they look better than Christian kids. Sometimes they are more dedicated than Christian kids. Sometimes they are more moral than Christian kids. Sometimes they know the Bible better than Christian kids.
But how do you know that it is not right? Because if you know Jesus, you know Jesus is not like Reverend Moon. Jesus does not build up a huge one-man organization with millions of dollars. That is not like Him.
How do I know that? I do not know. Somehow, I know Jesus just a little bit, and I know that is not the way Jesus does things. Jesus does not build organizations that sell flowers and candy.
If a person does not know Jesus and sees that group, he may say, “Hey, this looks good. These people have commitment. They wear ties and jackets and all those other great religious things.” But if you know Jesus, you know there is something that is not right.
The Bible says that in the last days—and you and I may live in the last days—there are going to be people who come and do miracles. Right in front of your eyes, they will have some little shazam. Lightning comes off their fingertips, and things happen, and you will say, “Wow, this is great. This must be the real promise.”
But if you look at them and know Jesus well enough, you will know that they are false apostles and antichrists. If you do not know Jesus well enough, they are going to fool you.
You need to know Jesus. When you get sick, if you know Jesus, you are able to find out: “Is this just some discipline of God, or is this the enemy attacking me? What is it, God?”
God does things in a mysterious way, but as you get to know the Lord, you begin to understand the way He does things. If you do not know the Lord, you never know: “Is this God, or is this Satan? Is this problem I am having because I am out of His will, or am I in His will and having a problem?”
As you get to know the Lord, you are going to know. Brothers and sisters, we really need to get to know God. Sometimes He puts you in your own kind of test so that you can get to know Him.
Nobody, not even Paul, likes the desert. But that is another reason God led Paul out into the desert. Paul not only needed to get to know Jesus better, but he also needed to get to know himself. Paul needed to get to know Paul.
What happened to Paul? He was a zealous man, and now he got saved. You know what? He was still a zealous man. Paul used to be angry at the Christians, and now perhaps he was angry at the Jews.
When a person gets saved, his character and nature do not change overnight. But the Bible says that as you look at Jesus and get to know Him, your own character is changed into the likeness of Jesus.
God had to say, “Ho, ho, ho, ho, Paul. Slow down.” Paul said, “But God, I am going to go serve You,” because Paul was so zealous.
God had to say, “No, you are going to do it My way, Paul. You are driven by things that are not of Me. You are driven because you want to work so that you can be accepted by Me, but I want you to know that you are saved by grace.”
So many people, when they are saved, want to serve God, work hard, and try to make up for the past. But God says, “Oh, let Me put you in the wilderness a little while, until you understand that you cannot make up for your past. Jesus paid the whole debt. Now relax.”
“Now, Paul, once you settle down a little bit, can you stop doing things out of your own zeal? Then I am going to let you start doing things out of My zeal.”
Did you know that God has zeal? The Bible says God has zeal. Jesus has zeal, but Paul had Paul-zeal. God said, “That is no good, Paul. We have to have Jesus’ zeal. So I have to change your character. I am going to put you out here in the desert a little bit, and I am going to work on you.”
“You always wanted to do things your way. Now, Paul, it has got to change.”
Some of you know the Lord, and when you come to know the Lord, you decide you can start doing things, but you try to do them your own way. You get touched by the Lord, maybe at a conference, and you go back home and take your friend and try to convert him.
But it is your way of doing it, so your friend thinks you are nuts. Maybe you say it the right way, but your friend still thinks you are nuts.
The point is that sometimes we do not wait for God to show us His way. That is one reason Paul went out into the desert.
I do not know too much about what Paul was like before he became a Christian, except that he was zealous and had a lot of hatred in his heart. But I know Paul sure did not know how to love before he got saved.
Can you imagine Paul going into the synagogue and saying, “You clumsy, hypocrite Jews! You are just like me, and you have got to get saved by Jesus. He is the Messiah! Do not you know? Look, I have made it plain. Jeremiah 13! Psalms 100! What is the matter with you?”
No wonder they were lowering him down in a basket.
But the point is that Paul perhaps did not have the love of Christ. God had to build into him His great love.
God wanted Paul to preach to the Gentiles. You know what Paul thought of the Gentiles? About like some of you do of your brothers and sisters: “You have got problems.” Paul did not have any love for Gentiles. He was a Jew right through, and God said, “Good, Paul. Now I want you to go talk to the Gentiles.”
Paul had to learn a lot of love in his life before he could do that. So God said, “I have a good place for you to learn: the desert.”
The third biblical reason God put Paul into the desert is that, while Paul was in the desert, God clarified—made more clear—His call.
Some of you come up to me after a meeting like this, or sometimes during a conversation, and say, “I really want to be committed, and I want to do something for God. I just do not know what it is. I feel like God is calling me.”
I say, “Well, what?” “Well, I do not know.”
That is the way Paul was. He said, “Oh man, I want to be so committed. I have got a burning in my heart, a burning in my stomach. I have got a burning commitment inside, and I have a calling. God wants me to preach, and I want to preach so bad.”
Then you say, “Okay, Paul, where are you supposed to go?” He says, “Well, I think maybe Damascus. No, up to Tarsus. No, wait a minute, maybe I should go to Jerusalem. I do not know.”
God had to put Paul into the desert. There in the desert, God began to talk to Paul and say, “Now look. Let Me start clearing up what I want you to do.”
Turn to Acts Chapter 26. Paul tells this story again. Paul tells the story of how he got saved every time he can. He gets before King Agrippa and starts telling his story.
Acts 26:14-18 says:
And when we were all fallen to the earth,
I heard a voice saying unto me in the Hebrew language,
Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou Me?
it is hard for thee to kick against the goad.
The goad is like a spur used on a donkey. When a donkey is being prodded with it, he kicks. But it does not do him any good.
God was saying, “Paul, I want you to do this. You are on the wrong road.” Paul was kicking and kicking and kicking. God said, “Paul, that kicking will not do you any good.”
Then Paul says:
And I said, Who art Thou, Lord?
And the Lord said, I am Jesus Whom thou persecutest.
But arise, and stand upon thy feet:
for to this end have I appeared unto thee,
to appoint thee a minister and a witness
both of the things wherein thou hast seen Me,
and of the things wherein I will appear unto thee;
delivering thee from the people, and from the Gentiles,
unto whom I send thee,
to open their eyes,
that they may turn from darkness to light
and from the power of Satan unto God,
that they may receive remission of sins
and an inheritance among them that are sanctified by faith in Me.
Is that everything Jesus spoke to Paul on the road? Not really. Jesus did not say, “Paul, go to Damascus, and I will tell you everything I am going to say.”
Why is Paul saying it this way? Because Paul is talking to King Agrippa. You cannot waste time giving every detail: “Then God told me this, and then God told me this.” What Paul is doing is telescoping what Jesus made clear to him.
Brothers and sisters, Jesus made these things clear when Paul was out in the desert.
Paul got out there and said, “Jesus, I feel like You are calling me to preach, but what are You really trying to say to me?” God began to talk to Paul and say, “You have a purpose, Paul.”
“Arise, and stand upon thy feet: for to this end have I appeared unto thee.” Paul, I have a job for you: to appoint you a minister and a witness.
Not only to the things you have seen—the light from heaven and Jesus—but also to the things that I will show you. “I am going to deliver you from the Jews and the Gentiles. I am going to send you out to open their eyes. I am going to allow you to preach so that they receive forgiveness and receive their inheritance by having faith in Me.”
I guarantee you that when Paul was on the road to Damascus, he did not know all that. But God made it clear as Paul spent time with God in the desert.
Paul said, “Oh God, what do You want me to preach?” Jesus said, “Do you remember how I forgave you? I want you to preach that I will forgive every one of their sins when they turn to Me.”
“Paul, do you remember how I called you, even though you were a sinner? I want you to go and preach to sinners and tell them Jesus is their salvation.”
In the wilderness, Jesus made Paul’s call clear.
Now, can I make the application? Some of you sense God calling you to some ministry. But unless you spend time with Jesus, you will not know what you are supposed to do.
Sometimes you think you are supposed to witness. Sometimes you think you are supposed to teach. Sometimes you think you are supposed to play music. Sometimes you just do not know. You say, “I do not know what I am supposed to do.”
But if you get to know Jesus, you will also begin to find out what you are called to do.
While Paul was in the desert, I believe something else happened. Now, it is hard to say; I cannot say this for sure. Turn to 2 Corinthians Chapter 12.
Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:2-4:
I know a man in Christ, fourteen years ago
(whether in the body, I know not;
or whether out of the body, I know not; God knoweth),
such a one caught up even to the third heaven.
And I know such a man
(whether in the body, or apart from the body, I know not; God knoweth),
how that he was caught up into Paradise,
and heard unspeakable words,
which it is not lawful for a man to utter.
Paul is talking about himself; we find that out later. He is recounting an experience he had fourteen years earlier.
He wrote 2 Corinthians probably around A.D. 55 or 56, although we do not know for sure. Fourteen years back from that time is around this period—the three years that are in question. Perhaps even in the desert, or maybe in Damascus; we do not know where.
But somewhere fourteen years before he wrote this letter, Paul saw a vision. He was caught up into the third heaven, into Paradise. There he saw Jesus. There he saw something he could not even express in words, but something that remained in his heart.
Paul saw a vision. Paul came to town in peace because he had seen Jesus. Some people could say, “You were not around Jesus walking in Palestine.” But Paul could say, “I have seen Him. I was caught up into heaven, and I saw Him.”
Perhaps at this time, maybe even while he was in the desert, he got to know Jesus and saw His beauty.
In Acts 26, when Paul was preaching to King Agrippa, he said:
Wherefore, O king Agrippa,
I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision.
What did Paul mean by “the heavenly vision”? Paul saw Jesus on the road to Damascus. Paul saw that Jesus was calling him to preach Jesus. He saw that he was supposed to go to the Gentiles and preach Jesus.
Paul had a heavenly call, a heavenly vision, and Paul was obedient to that heavenly vision.
I do not know how you and I are going to be faithful to Christ unless we sense Him calling us—not perhaps as Paul was called, but in a way in which we see Jesus.
When we go someplace to speak, or go to friends to share, we need to know Whom we have seen and what we have heard.
If you take most of the great men in the Bible, many of them had an experience where God led them into the wilderness.
Abraham was a great man and the father of faith. God led Abraham into the wilderness.
Moses was the deliverer of the nation of Israel out of Egypt. God led Moses into the wilderness.
Elijah was a great prophet in Israel. God put Elijah in the wilderness and let the ravens feed him. I wonder why.
David was anointed to be king. Then you know what happened to David? He was on the run and had to stay in the wilderness for years. Fourteen years after David was anointed king, he was still in the wilderness, being chased by King Saul. Oh, it must have been a terrible time. But why did God do that to him?
These experiences were tough, but these men got to know God in them.
Jesus, when He began His ministry, was led into the wilderness.
Brothers and sisters, I will guarantee you that in some way God will take you into the wilderness. By that I simply mean God will get you to the place where there is nothing left for you to do but talk to Him and work it out with Him.
You might be going to school. You might be having friends over. You might be doing a lot of things. But somehow God is going to get you into the wilderness, where He can sit you down and say, “Now, you do not really know Me. I want you to get to know Me.”
“You know that I want you to do something in life, but you do not know quite what it is. Now will you sit down and listen to Me? Let Me tell you what I want in your life.”
And the main thing: “I want you to know Me.”
I do not know how to emphasize that. I talk too loud as it is, but I only just have discussions.
Do you know what Jesus wanted to tell Paul more than anything else? “Paul, do you know the reason, now that we are in the desert together, that I saved you?”
Paul said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me to go preach.”
Jesus said, “Well, that is part of the point. Do you know the reason I saved you?”
Paul finally got to see that the reason he was saved was to have fellowship with Jesus.
I do not know if you believe it. One of the reasons you were saved is that Jesus would have somebody to talk to. Not merely that Jesus could have somebody talk to Him, although that is true, but also that Jesus could have somebody to love.
When God created Adam and Eve and put them in the garden, He did not just want some kind of gardener in there. God did not leave a note on the tree saying, “Do not cut down those hedges over there, and watch out for the rabbits coming into the cabbage.”
God created Adam because He wanted somebody He could say, “Yoo-hoo, Adam!” He wanted to talk to Adam. “Look, I have got these animals. What do you want to name them, Adam?”
“Here is this animal with a big trunk. What do you want to name him?”
“Elephant.”
“Okay, that is what we are going to name him.”
“Now, here is this long thing with a long neck. What are you going to name him?”
“Giraffe.”
God wanted relationship.
Part of the reason God saves a man or woman is that He wants somebody to talk to—somebody who talks to Him, somebody who glorifies Him, somebody who worships Him, and somebody to whom He can relate.
I do not know if you know how much Jesus loves, but Jesus wants to talk to you.
You say, “Oh, but I praise Jesus so much, but I do not even talk to Jesus.” Maybe it is because you do not believe He really wants to. Maybe you do not really think He loves you. Maybe you do not know how to listen because you are just as stubborn as Paul, and you are too busy running around.
God has a wilderness for you.
My concern tonight is this: I have been speaking and teaching the Bible for about fifteen years now, in one way or another. I want to tell you something: I have had some rough times.
One time I left what is called ministry. I left the ministry and had to live with my parents for a while. I had three kids; they were all small. I did not have any real job, and I drove a school bus. It paid sixty dollars a week—all the kids I could eat. I mean, it was pretty easy, but I was not going anywhere fast.
But do you know what happened? It was like being in the wilderness.
I had been so busy being a minister, trying to preach and teach and do all that kind of stuff, and finally God had me alone. I was not going around like crazy or anything. I just had a lot of time.
I found out that I was not so hot at studying the Bible when I had a lot of time. I thought, “Gee, if I was not going to school, I would read the Bible and pray all day long. If I did not have a job to do, I would be reading the Bible and praying all day long.”
Finally, I did not have a job. I was not going to school. Did I read and pray all day long? Yes, I did not.
I would do it for a while, and then I would fall asleep. I would get down to pray, but I could not pray. Maybe an hour I could pray, but it was not very much.
I found out, “Yeah, I just do not know the Lord very well.”
But it was during that wilderness time, about six months, that I really got to know how much Jesus loves. That is where I started writing some of these songs. That is where God started talking.
God said, “I do not know if you realize this, but I love you just for who you are, not just for what you do.”
I can say that to you, but you do not understand what that means until Jesus has spoken it to you: “I love you for who you are. I want to get to know you.”
Maybe you are tall. Maybe you are short. Maybe you are Chinese American. Maybe you are German American. Jesus says, “No, I love you just the way you are. I want you.”
God is not always like the president’s office: “Here, son, sit down. Have a cigar. Now, I want to talk to you about your college career. Okay, now I want you to go off to such-and-such university, and I will see you next year.”
God does not always just talk shop. He does not always say, “Now, I want you to witness to Fred. You have not been doing that. I want you to witness to Fred.”
He does not always talk business. Sometimes you just talk.
He says, “Hey, what do you think of the services?”
You say, “I thought it was kind of dry.”
Maybe the Lord would say, “Well, I wonder how it was done.”
I do not know. I am a little spiky. But sometimes the Lord talks to me like that. I am telling you, sometimes the Lord talks like a human being. He asks you questions.
“So, what do you think about Me? Do you think maybe you had something to do with the problem? Do you see something that can be done to help out?”
I do not want to get too far off. All I want to say is that Jesus will talk to you if you believe and if you realize that He loves you.
Maybe you are beginning to understand that He is wanting to call you to Himself.
Jesus did not call Paul merely to the desert or to the wilderness. He led him into the wilderness because Jesus wanted to call Paul to Himself.
Paul was saying, “Oh, I know Jesus because I heard Him once on the road. It was back a couple of months ago, but oh, I know Him.”
Jesus was saying, “Come a little closer. Let Me tell you more about Who I am—the Righteous One. You are going to tell people about Me.”
God, I just pray that You would call Your children to Yourself, that they would not be so—